1980, the year I met her for the first time. Today is 2015. I am 58. Recalling the memories of these passing decades, it was this memory of meeting her, my brain cells didn't attempt to replace. She is not my wife. I only spent 3 hours of my life with her. I don't know where is she now! I didn't even try to find her. She didn't do it either.
Today I would like to write our short story.
I was born and brought up in a typical Indian middle class family of a small town. With "Typical", I meant by the generalized pattern these families follow to carry out their lives.
Like for a Boy:- Get educated, Get a Job, Get Married, Have Babies, Build a House, Save the money, Get your children married, Retire, Die.
For a Girl:- Become 18, Get Married, Have Babies, Never Retire, Die.
Any slight deflection from this pattern would create a big destruction.
In my case, two steps were already accomplished as I got a government job at the age of 23 after being graduated in Commerce. I was returning back to home to have a relaxed week long Diwali vacations. On the other hand, my joint family, consisting of 5 paternal uncles, their wives and children, was desperately waiting for me to help me achieve 3rd step of the pattern. My Marriage. It was the single mission to be executed that vacations. I was unaware of it. For us, marriage was an annual affair because of my 22 cousins. Now it was my turn.
The prerequisite to get married is to find a girl. My family had already scrutinized few biodatas out of the numerous and countless biodatas they received. It was a matter of proud for them. I wondered why I was the most eligible bachelor of the town.
My aunt then explained me " You have a secured government job and we have our own house. What else a girl needs ! "
Okay, it was not my looks (as shown in Bollywood) and education (as per logic) that the girls' families eagerly approached us. It was about life-long never-ending incomes and after death pension benefits.
Anyway, at first they decided to visit Kalpana's family living in the town not from ours. My grandmother selected the panel which would visit her family. The panel included all my uncles, eldest aunt, my parents, father's sister (Buaji) and her husband (Fufaji), a cousin sister and her spouse (Jiyaji), two kids and of course me. We hired a mini-van to reach there.
As we reached their house, a kid yelled out " Aa gaye (They arrived)". Soon a group of men gathered at the gate to receive us. The eyes from the neighborhood started scanning us to figure out who's the prospective groom. I was nervous. We stepped in. It was a similar kind of housing we had. The house was full of people too. They offered us the seat and the plate full of Gulaab-Jamun, Bengali Sweets, Chips, Namkeen (Indian sweets and snacks) and some unidentifiable things. A glass of cold-drink was an addition. My denial of having them all was rejected by one of the oldest person from the other side.
He said " Beta (Son), this is nothing but to taste. We will have the main course in few minutes." Everybody laughed. I didn't find humor in it. My father directed me through his eyes to eat them all. Then came the food. I was terribly tired of the food. My stomach was just flooded of sweets, spices and oil. My eyes were desperately waiting for Kalpana. My despairing eyes were caught by my sister. She pulled my leg saying " Aa jayengi bhabhi, thoda intezaar karo bhaiya (Bro, she will come ! Just have some patience)."
Then arrived a girl escorted by few other women. She looked like a show stopper. She was wrapped in a beautiful saree. She held a tray full of neatly aligned cups of tea. She offered me to have one which I couldn't deny despite my troubled stomach. Our eyes met. She sat far from me.
Then an old lady started briefing her qualities" Kalpana is very simple girl. She can cook almost everything. The samosas, you ate this afternoon, were made by her. She is the best in pursuing all sort of house chores." Everyone felt proud of her outstanding attributes and showed the fake smiles.
Then a mid-aged man asked me " Where are you posted at the moment ?". That was all asked from me. Two more hours passed. No-one asked me to ask Kalpana any question. My father with his playing eyes asked me" What's my decision ?" I ignored him.
I interrupted everyone " Can I have a word with Kalpana in private ?"
My question silenced everyone. Few hearts stopped pumping, few mouths remained opened, some eyes widened at me. They reacted like if I asked her to kiss me. Then a lady broke out the silence and accepted my proposal " Why not ? You should talk to each other. Sonu will go with you two."
Sonu was a 8 years old boy who was supposed to protect his sister from me during our meeting. Irritated but a sigh of relief for me to talk Kalpana in person.
All the eyes followed us till we entered the private room.
I asked her to sit down. Sonu sat next to her leaving no place for me. He was doing his job. I chose to stand up. I asked Kalpana if I could ask any question. She hesitatingly agreed revealing her shyness to the extreme. She was very nervous. However I tried to frame some questions.
I : Hi, What have you studied ?
She: 12.
I: What would you like to do afterwards ?
She: As you say.
I: I meant how could I decide what would you do ?
She: No answer
I: What do you think of marriage ?
She: No answer
I: Do you have any question?
She: No answer
Sonu was enjoying every question of mine. He laughed at all of them. I was sure he would reveal all questions with other family members once I would leave their house.
Then someone knocked the door. It was hardly 10 minutes I spent with her. Kalpana's sister entered our room " How long will you talk ? Everyone wants you back outside." She passed the irritating smile.
We got out of the room and soon left their house. We agreed to give our decision in next days.
I was pleased by Kalpana's smile, shyness and her simplicity. I adored her. I liked her. We all had our opinions but to be discussed with my grandmother. She would take the final decision.
We reached our home. My grandmother was angry of something. She yelled at my eldest uncle " Why didn't you investigate about the family before meeting them? The girl's aunt (Buaji) did inter-caste marriage. Lallu-lal ji came after you left. He informed me. This marriage can't be done. No more words.Begin the next hunt."
Though everyone got surprised with this fact, I remained clueless. My story ended shortly but the memories lasted ever.
Today I would like to write our short story.
I was born and brought up in a typical Indian middle class family of a small town. With "Typical", I meant by the generalized pattern these families follow to carry out their lives.
Like for a Boy:- Get educated, Get a Job, Get Married, Have Babies, Build a House, Save the money, Get your children married, Retire, Die.
For a Girl:- Become 18, Get Married, Have Babies, Never Retire, Die.
Any slight deflection from this pattern would create a big destruction.
In my case, two steps were already accomplished as I got a government job at the age of 23 after being graduated in Commerce. I was returning back to home to have a relaxed week long Diwali vacations. On the other hand, my joint family, consisting of 5 paternal uncles, their wives and children, was desperately waiting for me to help me achieve 3rd step of the pattern. My Marriage. It was the single mission to be executed that vacations. I was unaware of it. For us, marriage was an annual affair because of my 22 cousins. Now it was my turn.
The prerequisite to get married is to find a girl. My family had already scrutinized few biodatas out of the numerous and countless biodatas they received. It was a matter of proud for them. I wondered why I was the most eligible bachelor of the town.
My aunt then explained me " You have a secured government job and we have our own house. What else a girl needs ! "
Okay, it was not my looks (as shown in Bollywood) and education (as per logic) that the girls' families eagerly approached us. It was about life-long never-ending incomes and after death pension benefits.
Anyway, at first they decided to visit Kalpana's family living in the town not from ours. My grandmother selected the panel which would visit her family. The panel included all my uncles, eldest aunt, my parents, father's sister (Buaji) and her husband (Fufaji), a cousin sister and her spouse (Jiyaji), two kids and of course me. We hired a mini-van to reach there.
As we reached their house, a kid yelled out " Aa gaye (They arrived)". Soon a group of men gathered at the gate to receive us. The eyes from the neighborhood started scanning us to figure out who's the prospective groom. I was nervous. We stepped in. It was a similar kind of housing we had. The house was full of people too. They offered us the seat and the plate full of Gulaab-Jamun, Bengali Sweets, Chips, Namkeen (Indian sweets and snacks) and some unidentifiable things. A glass of cold-drink was an addition. My denial of having them all was rejected by one of the oldest person from the other side.
He said " Beta (Son), this is nothing but to taste. We will have the main course in few minutes." Everybody laughed. I didn't find humor in it. My father directed me through his eyes to eat them all. Then came the food. I was terribly tired of the food. My stomach was just flooded of sweets, spices and oil. My eyes were desperately waiting for Kalpana. My despairing eyes were caught by my sister. She pulled my leg saying " Aa jayengi bhabhi, thoda intezaar karo bhaiya (Bro, she will come ! Just have some patience)."
Then arrived a girl escorted by few other women. She looked like a show stopper. She was wrapped in a beautiful saree. She held a tray full of neatly aligned cups of tea. She offered me to have one which I couldn't deny despite my troubled stomach. Our eyes met. She sat far from me.
Then an old lady started briefing her qualities" Kalpana is very simple girl. She can cook almost everything. The samosas, you ate this afternoon, were made by her. She is the best in pursuing all sort of house chores." Everyone felt proud of her outstanding attributes and showed the fake smiles.
Then a mid-aged man asked me " Where are you posted at the moment ?". That was all asked from me. Two more hours passed. No-one asked me to ask Kalpana any question. My father with his playing eyes asked me" What's my decision ?" I ignored him.
I interrupted everyone " Can I have a word with Kalpana in private ?"
My question silenced everyone. Few hearts stopped pumping, few mouths remained opened, some eyes widened at me. They reacted like if I asked her to kiss me. Then a lady broke out the silence and accepted my proposal " Why not ? You should talk to each other. Sonu will go with you two."
Sonu was a 8 years old boy who was supposed to protect his sister from me during our meeting. Irritated but a sigh of relief for me to talk Kalpana in person.
All the eyes followed us till we entered the private room.
I asked her to sit down. Sonu sat next to her leaving no place for me. He was doing his job. I chose to stand up. I asked Kalpana if I could ask any question. She hesitatingly agreed revealing her shyness to the extreme. She was very nervous. However I tried to frame some questions.
I : Hi, What have you studied ?
She: 12.
I: What would you like to do afterwards ?
She: As you say.
I: I meant how could I decide what would you do ?
She: No answer
I: What do you think of marriage ?
She: No answer
I: Do you have any question?
She: No answer
Sonu was enjoying every question of mine. He laughed at all of them. I was sure he would reveal all questions with other family members once I would leave their house.
Then someone knocked the door. It was hardly 10 minutes I spent with her. Kalpana's sister entered our room " How long will you talk ? Everyone wants you back outside." She passed the irritating smile.
We got out of the room and soon left their house. We agreed to give our decision in next days.
I was pleased by Kalpana's smile, shyness and her simplicity. I adored her. I liked her. We all had our opinions but to be discussed with my grandmother. She would take the final decision.
We reached our home. My grandmother was angry of something. She yelled at my eldest uncle " Why didn't you investigate about the family before meeting them? The girl's aunt (Buaji) did inter-caste marriage. Lallu-lal ji came after you left. He informed me. This marriage can't be done. No more words.Begin the next hunt."
Though everyone got surprised with this fact, I remained clueless. My story ended shortly but the memories lasted ever.
