तो क्या हो जायेगा?

"माँ, मैं गौरव से शादी नहीं कर पाउंगी। मैं पापा को बताने में थोड़ा हिचक रही थी, तो सोचा आपको बता दूँ पहले. क्या आप पापा को बताने में मेरी मदद करोगी?" स्नेहा के सटीक अंदाज़ से कहे हुए शब्दों से माँ बिलकुल सन्न रह गयी. उनके बगल में बैठी उनकी छोटी बेटी प्रिया भी स्नेहा के इस फैसले से अनजान थी. दोनों को इस बात का अंदाजा नहीं था. होता भी कैसे, अभी 3 महीने पहले ही स्नेहा और गौरव की शादी तय हुई थी और 2 महीने में ही दोनों की शादी होने वाली थी.

"ये क्या बोल रही हैं तू! होश में तो हैं?" माँ अभी भी विश्वास नहीं कर पा रही थी कि स्नेहा ने ऐसा कुछ कह दिया है जो वह सपने में भी नहीं सोच सकती थी.
प्रिया ने स्नेहा को अपने पास बैठने को कहा.

"हाँ माँ, मैंने फैसला लिया हैं कि मैं गौरव से शादी नहीं करुँगी." स्नेहा ने अबकी बार सीधे और सरल शब्दों में अपनी बात को दोहराया.
"यह जानते हुए भी कि शादी 2 महीने में हैं. सभी रिश्तेदारों को पता चल चुका हैं. शादी की लगभग सारी तैयारियां हो चुकी हैं." माँ ने अब सामाजिक व्यवहारिकता का हवाला देना शुरू कर दिया.
स्नेहा ने सिर्फ हाँ कहकर माँ का जवाब दिया.
"सिर्फ हाँ. तुझे हमारी इज़्ज़त का बिलकुल भी ख़याल नहीं हैं न." माँ की सख्ती बरकरार थी.
माँ को बीच में काटती हुए प्रिया बोली "माँ इसमे इज़्ज़त की बात कहाँ से आ गयी. आप सुन तो लो दीदी ने ऐसा फैसला क्यों लिया हैं?"

माँ की गुस्से भरी निगाहो को नज़रअंदाज़ करते हुए प्रिया ने स्नेहा को इस फैसले की वजह बताने को कहा.
"प्रिया, मुझे पता था कि माँ और पापा इस बात को तवज्जो कतई नहीं देंगे कि मैंने ये फैसला क्यों लिया हैं. मुझे ख़ुशी हैं कि तू इतनी छोटी उम्र में भी इस बात को समझ रही हैं."

माँ के रुख में अब एकाएक नरमी आ गयी. हो सकता हैं माँ को अपराध बोध हुआ हो.

स्नेहा ने अपनी बात को जारी रखा "आप सब को ये बात जानने का पूरा हक़ हैं कि मैं इस नतीजे पर क्यों पहुंची हूँ. मैं गौरव से 3 महीने पहले ही मिली थी. उसी दिन हमारा रोका हो गया था. सब कुछ इतनी जल्दी हुआ. पर मैं रिश्ते से खुश थी. मैंने वो फैसला दबाव में नहीं लिया था. गौरव पढ़ा लिखा हैं. नौकरी कर रहा हैं. परिवार वालो को आप सब अच्छे से जानते ही थे."

"फिर क्या हो गया बेटी?" माँ की नरमी अब उनके शब्दों में भी दिखने लगी थी. इससे स्नेहा को थोड़ा हौसला मिला. 
"माँ, सब कहते हैं कि सगाई से शादी का वक़्त गोल्डन पीरियड होता हैं. ये वक़्त दोबारा लौटकर नहीं आता. इसमें मस्ती करनी चाहिए. पिछले 3 महीनों में मैंने ऐसा कभी नहीं सोचा. मेरा मकसद था गौरव को समझना. उसके विचारो को जानना, विशेषकर मेरी खुद की आत्मनिर्भरता को लेकर -- जैसे कि वो खुद और उसके परिवार वाले मेरे शादी के बाद जॉब के बारे में क्या सोचते हैं."

"गौरव क्या सोचता हैं दीदी इन सब बातों पर." प्रिया ने पूछा।

"उसने इन सभी बातों को कभी गंभीरता से लिया ही नहीं. उसका ध्यान बस शादी के बाद घूमने कहाँ जाना हैं, घर बदलना हैं, शादी में गाडी कौनसी मिलेगी! इन सब बातों पर ही होता था."
"तो इसमे गलत ही क्या हैं स्नेहा। शादी के बाद यह सब चीज़े भी बहुत ज़रूरी हैं." माँ का सवाल प्रिया को भी जायज़ लगा.
"हां माँ, कोई बुराई नहीं हैं इन सबके बारे में बात करने में. मैंने पिछले 26 सालो में पढ़ाई की और नौकरी की. क्या मेरी प्रोफेशनल महत्वकांक्षाये शादी के बाद ख़त्म हो जानी चाहिए."


"देख गौरव सिगरेट और शराब नहीं पीता। बैंगलोर में अच्छी नौकरी हैं. अच्छी सैलरी हैं. तू जॉब नहीं भी करेगी तो भी तुम अच्छी ज़िन्दगी बसर कर सकते हो. इतना एडजस्टमेंट सभी करते हैं स्नेहा, तू अकेली नहीं हैं." माँ के शब्द हमारे इर्दगिर्द बसे लोगो की सोच को उजागर कर रहे थे. बहुत से लोग बस अपनी बेटियों को पढ़ाते जरूर हैं पर होती वो मैरिज मटेरियल ही हैं उनके लिए.

"क्या बात कर रही हो माँ. दीदी ने इंजीनियरिंग की हैं. नौकरी हैं. अब शादी हो रही हैं तो वो जॉब छोड़ दे?" स्नेहा की जगह प्रिया ने माँ से सवाल किया.
"पर गौरव बहुत अच्छा कमा रहा हैं प्रिया" 

 "माँ जॉब सिर्फ पैसो के लिए ही नहीं की जाती हैं. इससे हम आत्मनिर्भर बनते हैं.  हम पहले किसी की बेटी, फिर बीवी और आखिर माँ और दादी बनकर ही रह जाते हैं. नौकरी हमे अलग पहचान देती हैं."
प्रिया की बातें सुनकर स्नेहा अपने आंसू रोक नहीं पायी। उसे गले से लगाकर स्नेहा ने धीरे से उसके कान में कहा "थैंक यू प्रिया."
दोनों बहनो का प्यार देखकर माँ के भी आंसू टपक पड़े. "मुझे माफ़ कर दो तुम दोनों, मैं अपनी ही इन दकियानूसी सोच में अटकी हुयी हूँ.

माहौल के सामान्य होने पर स्नेहा बोली "माँ मुझे आपके शादी की तैयारियों में हुए खर्च पर बहुत दुःख हैं पर मैं अपनी सेविंग्स से उनकी भरपाई कर दूंगी माँ"
"चल पगली. तेरी ख़ुशी से ज़्यादा कुछ भी नहीं रे. पर मैं सोच रही हूँ की लोगो को क्या बताएँगे." माँ की एक टांग अभी भी लोगो की सोच में अटकी हुयी थी.

"देखो माँ आप कुछ कहो या न कहो, ये दुनिया अपनी कहानी खुद ही बना लेगी. इनकी परवाह मत करो. शुक्र मनाओ दीदी एक रिश्ते से बहार निकली हैं खुद की मर्ज़ी से और खुद की बेहतरी के लिए. डाइवोर्स और ब्रेकअप को हमे गलत नज़रिये से देखना ही नहीं चाहिए. बल्कि ये तो अच्छा हैं कि दो लोग ऐसे सम्बन्ध से बहार निकलते हैं जिसको वो ताउम्र निभा नहीं सकते. वजह चाहे कुछ भी हो."
माँ और स्नेहा ने प्रिया की बात पर हस्ते हुए, हाथ जोड़कर और सर झुकाकर जोर से कहा "जय हो प्रिया माता की"
फिर तीनो जोर जोर से हसने लगे.  

क्या मेरे बचपन के वो पल आपको याद हैं ?

मम्मी-पापा, क्या मेरे बचपन के कुछ पल आज भी आपके सामने से गुज़र जाते हैं ?
क्या कुछ पल संजो कर रख पाए हो आप क्यूंकि भागती-दौड़ती ज़िन्दगी अक्सर ये मौका हर किसी को नहीं देती. ज़िन्दगी अपने हर दौर में अनगिनत लम्हे बुनती हैं और नए पल अक्सर पुराने लम्हो की जगह ले ही लेते हैं.
मेरे बचपन को तो गुज़रे हुए 30 साल हो गए, क्या पता आपकी इन 30 साल की ज़िन्दगी ने मेरे बचपन के लम्हो को कितनी जगह दी होगी.
आजकल मैं अपने बेटे के बचपन से रूबरू हूँ जो कि मेरी ज़िन्दगी का एक दिलचस्प दौर हैं.
पापा, क्या आप उस एहसास को शब्दों में पिरो सकते हो जब आपने मुझे पहली बार अपने बाज़ुओं में लिया था. क्या आपकी भी मज़बूत बाजुएँ काँप रही थी उस वक़्त.
क्या आप भी मेरी भटकती हुयी नज़रो के थम जाने की आस लगाए बैठे थे. फिर क्या आपको याद हैं जब मैंने आपको पहली बार देखा था.
क्या उस वक़्त आपको एहसास था कि मेरी निगाहें अक्सर आप दोनों को ही ढूंढा करती थी?
और मम्मी, क्या मैं भी बे-हिसाब हस्ता था आपकी हर अदा पर. क्या आपके करीब आने पर मैं भी आपकी नाक और कान खींच देता था.
कैसा लगा था आपको जब मैंने पहली बार पलटी मारी थी?
क्या याद हैं वो दिन जब मैंने पहली बार रेंग कर अपने कमरे की देहलीज पार की थी?
क्या आपको मेरी बढ़ती हुयी रफ़्तार याद हैं जब मैंने एकाएक रेंगते हुए घुटनो का सहारा लिया था?
क्या आपको वो पलंग याद हैं जिसके सहारे मैं पहली बार अपने पैरो पर खड़ा हुआ था?
क्या आप भी छुप-छुपकर देखा करते थे कि मैं किन उधेड़ बुन में लगा रहता थ?
क्या आपको मेरे खिलौने याद हैं? वो लकड़ी की गुड़िया याद हैं, पता हैं वो मेरी हमराज़ थी.
क्या आप भी खीज जाते थे जब मैं आपकी गोद में आने की ज़िद्द करता था? शायद आपको अंदाजा न हो पर उससे ज़्यादा सुकून मुझे कहीं नहीं मिलता था.
कैसे आप अपने गुस्से को काबू कर पाते थे जब मैं ज़िद्द और रोने का सहारा लिया करता था?
क्या आपकी भी आँखें भर आयी थी जब मैंने पहली बार मममम और पापा बोला था? ये शब्द हमारे बीच के संवाद की नीव जैसे थे.
क्या आप भी चौंक जाते थे जब मैं भी आपके कहे हुए शब्दों को जैसे के तैसे ही दोहरा दिया करता था. 
पापा, क्या मैं भी आपके ऑफिस जाने पर बहुत रोता था और क्या स्कूटर के एक फेरे खाये बगैर आपका ऑफिस जाना नामुमकिन था?
क्या आपको याद हैं कि आपके स्कूटर के हॉर्न से ही मैं कितना रोमांचित हो जाता था?
क्या ऑफिस से लौटने पर मुझे देखकर आपकी थकान उतर जाती थी?
और क्या मैं भी रविवार को सुबह 5 बजे उठकर आपकी नींद उड़ा दिया करता था?
इन पलों को आजकल मैं और मेरे कुछ दोस्त जी रहे हैं. ऐसा लग रहा हैं जैसे की मेरे बेटे के बचपन से मैं खुद के बचपन को और अपने माँ-बाप की जवानी को दोबारा जी रहा हूँ.

पापा, मुझे कोटा जाना हैं

"आंटी, ज़रा अमित को भेजना।" मैंने हमारे पड़ोस में रहने वाले मेरे स्कूल के दोस्त अमित की मम्मी से कहा.
"अमित! बेटा वो तो ट्यूशन गया हैं. रात को 8 बजे तक लौटेगा. तब भेज दूंगी तुम्हारे घर."
अमित की मम्मी के जवाब को मैं पूरा सुन पाता कि पड़ोस में रहने वाले मिश्रा अंकल भी वहाँ आ धमके. बोलने लगे मेरा बेटा सुनील भी पूरे दिन ट्यूशन में ही लगा रहता हैं. करे भी क्या? कम्पटीशन ही इतना हैं.
मुझे वहा क्रिकेट बैट के साथ देखकर हैरानियत से भरे मिश्रा अंकल मुझसे बोले "रवि तुमने ट्यूशन जाना शुरू नहीं किया? तुम भी तो दसवीं में आ गए हो न."
"पर अंकल अभी तो गर्मी की छुट्टियां  हैं न." मेरे बेबाकी भरे जवाब से अमित की मम्मी और मिश्रा अंकल सकते में आ गए. उससे पहले कि वो कुछ सवाल कर पाते कि मैं वहा से निकल लिया.

 मैंने सोचा कि परसो ही तो परीक्षाएं ख़त्म हुई हैं और आज सभी ट्यूशन की ओर भी चल पड़े हैं. सोचा कि घनश्याम तो जरूर अपनी दुकान पर ही होगा और वो खेलने के लिए मना भी नहीं करेगा. घनश्याम के पापा की साईकिल के पंक्चर ठीक करने की एक दूकान थी. वो सरकारी स्कूल में पढता था.
"अंकल नमस्ते. घनश्याम कहीं दिखाई नहीं दे रहा." मैंने घनश्याम की दुकान पर पहुंचकर उसके पापा से उसके बारे में पूछा।
"बेटा वो तो ट्यूशन गया हैं. तुम्हे तो पता ही हैं कि दसवीं की क्या एहमियत हैं और सरकारी स्कूल में पढाई तो होती हैं नहीं. पिछले तीन सालो से पैसे जोड़ रहे थे कि वो शहर के सबसे अच्छे ट्यूशन में जा सके. देखो ना अभी 2 दिन ही हुए हैं ट्यूशन शुरू हुए और सारे batches में छात्रों की संख्या 100 से ऊपर पहुंच गयी हैं. वैसे तुम्हारा ट्यूशन शाम को नहीं हैं?" घनश्याम के पापा तो मिश्रा अंकल और अमित की मम्मी से दस कदम आगे थे.
"हाँ अंकल, मैं ट्यूशन सुबह ही हो आता हूँ." मेरे पास झूठ बोलने के अलावा कोई और चारा नहीं था. मैं वहा से भी खिसक लिया.

मैं घर इतनी जल्दी लौट नहीं सकता था नहीं तो मम्मी पापा अचम्भा करते कि परीक्षाओ में गर्मी की छुट्टी की बाट देखने वाला बच्चा इतनी जल्दी खेल कर भी आ गया. मैंने सोचा की  मैदान में जाकर ही बैठ जाता हूँ. फिर 1-2  घंटे में घर चला जाऊंगा.

वहां पहुँचा तो देखा राकेश अकेला खड़ा हैं. मैं दौड़कर उसके पास गया.
"अरे राकेश तू यहाँ अकेला क्या कर रहा हैं? तू ट्यूशन नहीं गया?" मैं राकेश को देखकर बहुत खुश था फिर भी उस बहुचर्चित सवाल पूछने से खुद को रोक नहीं पाया.
"नहीं भाई, मैं ट्यूशन नहीं जाने वाला."
उसके आधे ही जवाब पर उत्साहित होकर मैं बोल पड़ा "सही बोल रहा हैं यार तू. अभी तो गर्मी की छुट्टियां चल रही हैं और वैसे भी 2 ही दिन तो हुए हैं परीक्षाएं ख़त्म हुए. पूरा साल पड़ा हैं ट्यूशन करने को.
"अरे सुन तो. मैं परसो कोटा जा रहा हूँ तीन सालो के लिए." राकेश ने मेरे सारे उत्साह को ठंडा कर दिया.
मैंने राकेश से पूछा कि ट्यूशन का कोटा से क्या लेना देना. मुझे तो सिर्फ इतना पता था कि कोटा में मेरी बुआ रहती हैं.  

फिर उसने मुझे कोटा की असलियत से परिचय करवाया.
"देख भाई, यहाँ रहकर पहले स्कूल जाओ और 7 घंटे बर्बाद करो, फिर हर विषय का 1 -1 घण्टे का ट्यूशन. तू ही बता फिर समय ही कहा मिलेगा पढ़ने का ?"
मैं तो उसकी हर बात पर सिर्फ सर हिला रहा था.
राकेश अपनी बात को और गहराई से समझाने लगा " कोटा में एक कोचिंग सेण्टर हैं. वहा जाकर दाखिला लेने पर स्कूल जाने की जरुरत नहीं हैं. कोचिंग सेण्टर IIT  की तैयारी कराते हैं."
"भाई यह IIT  क्या होता हैं?" मेरा उत्साह मर गया था पर फिर जिज्ञासा ने जन्म लिया.
"IIT बहुत बड़ा कॉलेज होता हैं और वहा पढ़कर लोग अमेरिका जाते हैं नौकरी करने." राकेश बोला।
"अमेरिका! वाह यार. राकेश एक बात बता, तुझे यह सब किसने बताया?" मेरी जिज्ञासा अब बढ़ रही थी.
"यार 10 साल पहले मेरे मौसाजी का बेटा गया था कोटा. आज वो अमेरिका में  हैं. चल यार अब मैं चलता हैं काफी देर हो गयी हैं. " कहकर राकेश चला गया.

रास्ते भर राकेश की कही बात मेरे कानो में गूँज रही थी.
घर आया और आते ही अपने पापा से कहा " पापा, मुझे कोटा जाना हैं. वहा से सीधे IIT में जाऊँगा."
पापा ने कोटा और IIT के बारे में शायद थोड़ा बहुत सुन रखा था. पापा कुछ बोल पाते कि मम्मी बोली " देखो मैं नहीं कहती थी कि रवि का बड़े होकर पढाई में अपने आप ही मन लग जाएगा. आप वैसे ही उसको ताने मारते रहते थे."  हालाँकि मम्मी भी कोटा के बारे में इससे ज्यादा नहीं जानती थी कि वहा मेरी बुआ रहती हैं  
   

Stop following a crowd: A wake up call for parents of this generation

I am not going to write a nice story today, but rather posing a question which is so relevant for our times. I am surprised (more disappointed) why this has not been the topic in the last decades, not even in the recent years. I have limited readers and therefore, I don't know how far my arguments can reach and help people to analyze my arguments themselves. Despite these doubts, somewhere deep inside me, I have a strong belief that it's worth trying. I am not going to be philosophical today rather realistic and therefore, I have to take some real life examples. I need to be simple in framing things. 

This piece of writing is about how we, the parents, raise our children.
I often pose a question to myself and to many people around me. "Why do you want to have a child?"
I got several replies and the majority of them either replied "because everyone has a child. its a kind of thing you should do."OR"they are cute".
My mother once said "you re-live your childhood when you have a child." That made much sense to me. But I wonder why a boy or a girl, who doesn't explore his/her own life at the age of 28 years or so, want to re-live their childhood. Anyway its a personal question and certainly not my topic today. 
It is quite obvious that no matter why we want to have a child or children in lives, they are very big responsibilities. It is also obvious that the parents, irrespective of their education, social or financial status, they do take care of their children in the best possible way. I have no doubts about this. But probably the best they know is not the best at all.

Why do I say that?
In order to setup a frame for this question, let me take you an era when I was 10 years old. It was in mid 1990s. My parents sent me to learn Karate. I really enjoyed it and, like every other kid, I used to try it at home, of course without being physical to anyone at home. I used to hit walls with my hands. After few months, my parents got really annoyed with this and stopped me sending there. I was sad.

I was very good at cricket too. My parents started sending me to learn professional cricket. Then I got into class IX. I still remember that "so-called Gupta ji" visited us and advised my parents "Mr. Vijay, your son is in class IX. Next four years are going to be crucial for him. He should focus more on studies. Cricket, as you know, is a competitive game and by no chance, our kids from the small town, can make it to Indian Cricket Team."  Was that all about getting into Indian Cricket Team ? Wasn't it enough that I enjoyed playing it.
My parents just moved with his arguments. I was stopped again. No matter what I liked, I ended up preparing for competitive engineering exams, getting into an engineering college and finally getting a degree."
This story is not just mine but this belongs to many of us. But why do we share this story? You know India produces more than 1 million (10 lakhs) engineers every year. Are we all meant to become an engineer ? Certainly not, but who to blame. Of course we should blame our education system to a great extent. Our education system sees all of us through one set of glasses and the glasses are called "Examination system". The system thinks that if you score good in mathematics, you are good in mathematics. The marking system is the most driving factor for setting our career objectives too. For instance, if I score good at physics and mathematics, I would most likely become an engineer. What we don't understand that the examination system is like a set framework. Those who understand it better, score the most. What we also don't understand that the marking system doesn't necessarily indicate the knowledge you have about the subject.

You might wonder if its because of poor education why would we care ? We can't change the system and it happens to everyone. We are not alone. You are right. But think about it, it's about your child. You created that life. It can't be limited to your pleasure. You have a big responsibility to make that life at least a bit better than yours. You can't just make an excuse if you don't try to make it better. However, it's certainly not a missed opportunity. The world is changing. India is changing. Probably you know its changing but don't see it. Probably you don't want to see the change because this will take your comfort.

I am going to ask several questions and put my arguments why you should wake up?


- Why do you still think that engineering, medical, law and commerce (CA) are the only few options for your child and if your child doesn't pursue one of them, he/she won't succeed and be happy in life. Remember I met many software engineers, doctors and chartered accountants, they are not the happiest people in the world :o
-  Can't you see that there are 47 games played in Olympics (https://www.olympic.org/sports) and India's participation is well known :-( There is a need of sportsperson, trainers, nutritionist etc. Think about it. Remember Cricket is not the only sport in India.
- You know Indians are one of the unhealthy people in the world. We love watching sports but hardly play anyone of them. Why don't you motivate your child to play outdoors as much as she wants. Maybe she likes one of the sports and you should be more than happy to send your child for professional training.   
- We all are fans of Bollywood films, daily soaps on hundreds of Indian TV channels, Youtube channels. Have you ever thought that someone writes the scripts, someone creates the music, someone directs, someone acts and so on. There is a high need of writers, actors, directors, editors etc in Indian media. Why not encouraging your child to learn one of the skills?
- We Indians love celebration. Our weddings are getting bigger. We even celebrate birthday parties, marriage anniversaries on large scale. Although I don't like to do these celebrations. It's a waste of money. It's a showoff. Anyway its a part of our culture. So why not encouraging your child to learn event management? There is an industry right there.
- The domestic tourism in India is increasing. Why not learning tourism management and make the industry better.

There are millions of options out there. I listed few of them. You just have to wake up, widen your eyes and stop following a crowd. 
What I really suggest you to make these options accessible to your child. Encourage them to learn about these diverse fields. Discuss with them about what do they want. Do they want to learn a musical instrument or to play a sport ? It might happen that you child gets bored within a couple of weeks. Discuss with him why doesn't he like it anymore. Expose him to other options. Its kind of hit and trial method. Once he finds something interesting and pursues anything for 6-9 months continuously. Its the time where you should encourage your child to excel. Help him to find better coaching. Go out of the way because you care. This will motivate your child to further his knowledge.


To cut the long story short, don't think if you are sending your child to the best school of the city, then the job is done. Don't think if you send your child to sports coaching or music classes, then the job is done. You should engage your child in a continuous discussion to figure out what he thinks, what he wants. Take him to the experts of the field your child is pursuing. Relate some inspiring stories. For instance, if your child is playing hockey, it's worth discussing Dhyanchand and his era.

PS- If you can't do much. Just give two habits to your child. Reading books (anyone) and Playing outdoor sports (anyone). Believe me, these will change his life.   










     

An (Unwanted) Alumni Meet

"Good morning sir, may I speak to Mr. Saurabh Vijay" I heard it as soon as I picked up the phone call.
"Speaking, but I am not interested in listening to one of your "so-called attractive" schemes to sell your whatever product." I responded promptly.
One could sense the tone of these marketing girls. I wondered why did I get a call despite I activated DND (Do No Disturb). Damn, you can't be 100% sure of anything in India. That frustration forced my brain to dig a bit into its cache memory. It reminded me of a guy from Hyderabad suing a mobile company and claimed 1 million bucks because he got phone calls from an advertising firm penetrating his privacy despite DND activation. That brain retrieval gave me so much courage that I even decided who would fight my case in the court. The best friend of the son-in-law of my maternal aunt, actually the only lawyer I knew.  

"Sir, are you there ?" She hesitantly inquired and broke my continuous chain of thoughts.
"Hmmm.." It took me a while to return to the moment.
She took charge "Sir, I am from Lal Bahadur Shastri Engineering College from where you graduated 4 years ago."  She just broke my plan of earning 1 million bucks.
"Oh, may I know who's speaking ?" I softened my tone a bit.
"Sir, this is Nisha. I am currently in the II year of my bachelors." She answered.
"So, which branch of engineering. Must be Computer Science or IT, right ! Is this still a favorable branch for girls?" My curiosity came with sarcasm.
She didn't sense my sarcasm. "No No Sir, I am pursuing BBA in Human Resource."

"Okay, has our college started management courses, I didn't know about it." I sounded clueless.
"Sir, a lot has changed in the last 4 years. I can check on my system that you have never been to any Alumni Meetings." She informed me.

Really!!!! The same college, which was unaware of my existence during my studies, is now even tracking me after graduation and pretty much keen to invite me. Am I that important now ? Why ? I wasn't among the best students. I didn't get placed in the campus interviews. It took me 2 years to get into a software company, no one knows the name of. Yes, I am, like everyone, a software engineer. An only dream of every passing out engineer irrespective of one's engineering branch. But I am a normal one, at least now. I am sitting on a bench and having 6 coffees everyday because they are free. Probably one day I may be known to the community.

She again intervened and broke my chain of thoughts second time. I wasn't offended. "Sir, will you please confirm us your presence."

"Hold on. Let me tell you, in the last years, I usually got the invitations via emails which I spammed. I am very much pleased to have a personal invitation call this year. However, I don't get the idea of being to Alumni Meetings. I mean I am just 26 and I need to attain certain heights in my professional career. Honestly I am useless for current students if I share my experience which I don't have anyway. And I am not retired so that I would be extremely excited to see my batch-mates after 40 years or so. Reviving 40 years old memories might be an exciting stuff to do. So I don't know what would I do in the upcoming Alumni Meet." I clarified why I don't fit to such meetings.

"Sir, why are you thinking so much ? Its just a simple evening where Alumni will meet, talk, eat together, see the campus once again and most importantly a possibility to interact our Institute's Director Mr. Agarwal." She insisted.

After a long pause while thinking "who the hell wants to see the director ?", I somehow agreed because of her. " Ok. I am in. See you then."
"Thank you very much sir." She hung up the phone.
I made up my mind not to ditch Nisha as she has been the first girl from the college who insisted me so long. I hardly knew the names of the girls of my batch-mates. None of them fit into my criteria. Many of them were interested in the assignments, exams and marks, and the rest of them were interested in canteen, bike ride and hang out. I couldn't afford such girls.

Anyway I was up for the meet. It was in the Autumn of 2012. I reached my college. However, the college atmosphere seemed more like Spring as many fresh graduates just joined the academic courses. College entrance was flooded by advertising banners. "North India's No. 1 College" printed on one of the hoardings, without an * sign, caught my attention. What about IIT Delhi, Roorkee, MNIT Jaipur etc.? Anyway the campus had changed a lot in just 4 years. Many brick walls got replaced by fancy glasses. New hostels, new buildings and modern canteen with automatic payment options were added.

I was stopped by a security guard at the entrance. "Show your identity card. Which hostel ?"
"This is how you treat your guests. I am an invited alumnus. I passed out in 2008." I reacted angrily.
"Then please show the invitation card." He didn't let me in.
"I didn't get any. I got the phone call." I was surprised because of his interrogations. I wished he stopped me to enter the college in 2004 that I didn't have to study crap in all those years.

"Stop making stories...." Seeing our arguments, a beautiful girl in a black saree intervened. "What happened bhaiya?"
"See madam, he doesn't have an identity card, invitation card not even an aadhar card and yet arguing with me to enter the college." Two other security cards chuckled. They got the sarcasm but I didn't.

"Sir, what is your name?" She asked gently.
"Saurabh Vijay" Still angry I was.
"Sir, you are invited. please come in." She felt guilty on the behavior of the security guard. "Sir, we sent the invitation cards, but we came to know that some of our alumni didn't receive that."
"Ah I was also wondering. You sound different on phone Nisha." I changed the topic.
"Sir, I am Natasha. Nisha has sessional exams next week. She won't be here." She broke my break. However Natasha seemed to be a reasonable replacement of Nisha. 

I entered the same auditorium which was earlier used for motivational lectures (I skipped most of them), pre-campus- placement-talks by HR (rarely invited), 15th Aug & 26th Jan celebrations (never been there) and so on. That day it looked more like a sangeet function of an Indian wedding. The caterers were serving fried samosas and cold drinks (orange and black both). Naughty kids were running after each other. The ladies and gentlemen were grouped in several groups. DJ unhappily played a light romantic music from the 90s instead of his wish to play "Honey Singh" songs. Most of the chairs were already occupied, either with people's butts or their bags. I didn't get any vacant seat.

I was still trying hard to find someone from my batch. Actually I interacted ~ 1% of my batch-mates when I was in the college. I was so involved with my own folks, couple of people always interested in making and spreading gossips, roaming around, spending time in the canteen without eating much. We were different set of people primarily interested in everything except education and girls. Very contrasting to what people expect from the college life. These people are unique and hard to find. None of these people make it to such meetings so I was not expecting anyone from them.

Anyway I saw a resembling face. That looser (Sunil) in a three piece suit. What was he doing there ? He couldn't clear his papers while we were passing out yet he progressed so well. At least he dressed like. I was curious.
"Hey Sunil. How are you doing?" I gently shook the hands though the gesture was fake.
"Arey, you are from my batch na ! I forgot your name. What are you doing here?" He responded without hiding fakeness.
"No problem. I am Saurabh. I am working as a software engineer in ABCInfotech Pvt. Ltd. What are you doing these days." I introduced myself.
"Yeah everyone from our batch is either a software engineer or struggling to become one. I am the head of the Electronics department (Academics) of this college." He shot sarcasm and confidence with one arrow.
"Okay. glad to hear that." I got disappointed and wanted to leave the party. Suddenly Natasha started to speak into the mike.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, now I would like to call romantic couples on the stage and they would ramp walk. Please give a huge round of applause for them." She brought new excitement in the party but still the kids were running after each other and many folks were looking for the waiters to grab some more samosas and cold drinks.

Sunil started his commentary as soon as the couple marked their presence on the stage. "See him. Rahul Sethiya. Bada dude bana firta tha. See, now how fat he has become. The entire family including their kid must be weighing more than 200 kilos." Sunil laughed out loud expecting my laughter. I smiled back.
"You remember Simran, our immediate senior. There she is. "He pointed to her. "The entire college was behind her, she is the head of the placement cell now and quite closed to Mr. Agarwal." He winked at me.

"Why are you telling me these stories?" I got irritated.

"Hold on and look at these bunch of people, The Jains. They started up a company. You know what their startup is all about?" He inquired me or just making an obvious pause between a sarcastic remark and a further explanation.
I nodded my head showing no clue.
"These guys are training young engineering graduates to get through campus placement. None of them cracked it but now hired few MBA graduates who will train the engineering graduates. God saves the planet." He finished finally.

I didn't understand why I didn't enjoy those stories which I myself quite enjoyed while making and spreading up in my college days. Have I become mature or sensible now? Or Knowing the fact that someone is doing a much better job. I don't want to figure it out.
What I figured out at the Alumni Meet - People get a platform to compare their lives with their contemporaries. The topics of comparisons are spouses, job positions, salaries and the differences to the college lives. Probably the college can use those pictures in their advertisements claiming that the college has the strongest alumni network. There is no connection established between the alumni and the current students. LinkedIn does a better job. I rest my case now.         

















    

You didn't notice me !

"You didn't notice me, right ?" I finally dared to put my hand on her shoulders and uttered my long-term frustration.
"Excuse me." Sanjana responded clueless.
"No, you are not excused. It has been 4 years and you didn't notice me once." My dare was on a Level-II now.
"Hey, what are you talking about?" She continued to be clueless.
"Don't you get it what I am talking about?" I inquired last time.
"I beg your pardon, dude. I gotta go. My friends are waiting outside." She responded fluently in American accent.
Although I didn't get all the words, I could get the flavor that she was not interested in me like the last 4 years.
"Saana, can I please talk to you for a while? Its really important." I literally begged for the conversation.
"What? What did you say?" She frowned.

I guess she heard "Saana". For me and my friends she was always Saana, the name I gave her when I saw her the first time. It was on the fresher's night. She was on the stage and getting "Miss Freshers Award". I was, on the other side, sitting far from the stage with my drunk friends. Their shouts were perfectly in synchronous with the girls' appearances on the stage. I could hardly see their faces because of disco lights and smoke. Probably alcohol helped them to see through smoke. However, her face simply dissected the smoke and made a connection, though one-sided, with me. She looked extremely beautiful in her red gown. She was shining like a star. She chose outstanding English words while receiving her award.

"Hey, have you lost somewhere? Did you just call me Saana?" She repeated while being completely unaware of my flashback moments.
"Ya, I call you Saana. That's the way I call you all the time." I answered.
"I guess we are meeting the first time. Are you studying in the same college?" She just broke my heart. She proved me wrong. My friends were right. She never noticed me.
"Okay, you never noticed me. I am passing out today as well. That means we belong to the same batch." I sounded disappointed.
"I see, what is your name? Did you pursue BBA?" She saw her interest or she was just pretending to be nice.  
"My name is Sunil." I replied without enthusiasm.
I wished I could say "Rahul, Naam to suna hi hoga". Rahul sounds much better than Sunil thanks to Shahrukh Khan movies. There were 7 Rahul in my class and all were very famous for different reasons. There was a huge contrast among Rahuls. One Rahul was the topper of our batch and the other was a drug dealer. I also wondered why she thought that I was studying BBA. Who the hell does BBA?
I continued "No I am an Automobile Engineer."
"Is this an engineering branch? Anyway, tell me, why did you stop me? What you wanted to talk?" She questioned.
I somehow overlooked her unawareness of my engineering branch. "You won't understand my feeling. I know you are deeply in love with someone. Currently it is Rohit, right?" I became unstoppable.
"What did you just say? Currently?" She wanted me to repeat.
"I mean your current boyfriend is Rohit, right? And you don't care about the fact that I have always loved you." I put up my point with much more sense this time.

She came closer to me and gave me an angry look. "Hold on mister!" She took a moment to recall my name but couldn't. "....whatever, I don't have any boyfriend. Rohit is just a friend." I don't know whether she intentionally overlooked those words "I loved you".
However, I sighed with a relief that she didn't have a boyfriend. I overlooked her anger.
"So why do you give him hugs every time you see him?" She triggered my curousity.
"So what if I hugged him. See, I can hug you as well." She hugged me. That was a moment I had been waiting for the last 4 years. But the thought "this was not special for her" vanished all my joy in a second.
"So that means you didn't have a boyfriend ever." I wanted to reassure myself.
"No not at all. All the boys you are talking about are my dear friends." She replied quickly this time.
"I am happy to hear that." I felt relieved. I bent down on my knees and proposed her. "I fell in love with you the day I saw you the first time. You looked pretty the day by day in the last years. People rumored about your relationships with the boys. I never believed them. But then you didn't notice me at all, I had to second their rumors. You are my dream girl. Would you like to be fallen with me in this beautiful world of love?" I spoke like an independence day speech but I stopped abruptly because I felt earthquake shakes.

No it was Sanjana. She shook me "Excuse me. Do I know you?"
Soon I realized that the entire interaction was a dream.  I was day-dreaming. Damn, her touch made my legs shivered and my throat dried.
"Sorry. I mistook you for my another friend." I somehow made an excuse.
"Okay. No problem. Bye." She said and waved me with a smile.
I couldn't say what I felt in those years. There was hardly a moment that I didn't think of her. I planned my entire life with her. I couldn't get the courage. She remained unaware. Probably it was destined like this. I didn't deserve her.