Perspective: A better way of life

There is no doubt that I like writing short stories. I shape those stories with the help of my life experiences. Probably that's the way fictional sketches are created. I am no exception. I am always interested in people. I meet them and have detailed conversations about many diverse topics - fitness, politics, relationships, religion, science etc. By digging deeper into their personalities I find multiple layers. I try not to judge them. We humans are incredible creatures of the nature. We have so much inside us that we are not even aware of. Anyway, these interactions with the people help me to frame the characters of my stories, assist me to look inside and evolve. Most people I've come across miss one simple yet very important characteristic -- PERSPECTIVE. That's the topic of my blog today. I try to give you some real life instances I've personally come across.   

The literal meaning of PERSPECTIVE is "a particular attitude towards anything", but it's true meaning, in my opinion, is a way deeper than this. I think it's the most essential and basic personality trait anyone should have.
My self-understanding of perspective laid on a foundation of TWO simple yet so powerful facts.
1. Our Earth is the only living planet in the universe, we know.
2. Our Earth is approximately 450 crores (4.5 billion) years old and a human life is somewhere close to 80 years. If I simply scale it down, if our Earth is 1 year old then we simply die within a fraction of a second. There have been millions of people, like us, who lived and died here. No matter how intelligent, famous, rich and fit they were, they died within a fraction of second.  

No matter how you perceive them, these are simple scientific facts.
These facts shouldn't be misunderstood like my niece jokingly responded "Okay. If that's how it is, I would relax my whole life - No to Study, No to Job, and No Marriage. In short, No Problem". I chuckled with her. This interpretation is both child-like and foolish.
What must be learnt from the two facts -- You are LUCKY that you are HERE and still ALIVE. It's an opportunity to live this life to the FULLEST. It may end anytime. You lose your valuable time if you become SAD, ANGRY, EGOISTIC, LAZY, SELF-CENTERED etc. You lose an opportunity if you blindly follow others. We humans have evolved by sharing knowledge, learning from others, helping each other and showing care, respect and love. That's perspective.
Now, as I promised, I give you some real life examples on people losing perspective and what could they have opted otherwise.


1. Mr. A once said " I left my job and started real-estate business. The reason is simple. I want to earn a bank balance of 2.5 million rupees in the next 3 years." He was so obsessed for this particular goal that he worked round the clock and run all other things (relationship, health etc.) on an auto-pilot mode.
Perspective -- I wondered what if he died within a year and missed all other opportunities he could have with his family and friends. What if he balanced work and life.

2. Mr. B got very angry at the waiter just because the dish, he ordered, was very salty. He shouted. The waiter shook. The manager rushed to them and changed the dish immediately. He felt pride so did his children. The kids interpreted that's how our world functions. DOMINATE others by any means.
Perspective -- What if he softly related the matter. He might have responded something like "Excuse me, the dish is very salty and uneatable. Can you please replace it?"  No matter the waiter had replaced the dish or not (worst case - he ordered a new dish of worth 150 bucks), Mr. B would have spread very positive energy and taught a great lesson to his children.

3. Mr. C became sad because he failed in a particular national level entrance exam for premier engineering colleges. He was down for nearly 6 months because the things turned out opposite of what he ideally planned. For a very long time, he lost focus and almost stopped working in any direction. In short, he lost perspective.
Perspective -- What if he looked life as a whole -- the bigger picture. What if he understood that's the nature of life. It's simply a mix of failures and successes. Successes take you a way forward, sometimes that much you can't predict. Failures give you an opportunity to reflect, to analyze, to correct and to go forward with a new strategy.
Sometimes people become sad when failures and expectations from the peers coincide. The people are often affected by the expectations (self, family or society) because they take them so seriously. Why to do that! That's perspective.

4. Mr. D is accumulating a lot of wealth, no matter how. He buys the best phone, owns the most luxurious car and builds a perfect house for his family. He has way more than his family's survival yet he complains about many things he doesn't have. This is similar to what I have personally come across. I hardly find people who are happy and satisfied with their jobs. Go to leading surveys, you will find astonishing statistics about people not liking their jobs.
Mr. D often says that he hardly meets his family's survival needs. Many people like Mr. D often tell me -- Having a number of materialistic things are their basic survival needs. They can't function without a car. They want to own a house, no matter they live there or not. They want to secure their future more than their present. I think that's the ultimate case of losing perspective.
Perspective -- What if he spends sometime in the underprivileged areas, he will understand what the survival is -- Food, Shelter and Clothes. The children don't have education. They dropout from schools and find means to earn money faster. What if they are misguided and become a threat for our society including you.
A Better Perspective -- What if we choose experiences (education, travel, art etc.) over acquisition of the materialistic things (house, car etc.).  

5. Mr. E, Ms. F and many other like them share their personal lives on social media. They share where they go, what they watch and who they hang out with. Why? To get the certificates (likes and comments) from others that they have fantastic lives. I did the same once. Its the craving for social acceptance that drive people to do that. Go and you will find enough literature on people using social media.
Perspective -- What if they look inside instead of looking outwards. Because when they look outward, they compare and fail to understand the concept of life as a personal journey. When they look inward, they excel because they would know what they truly want. They would know their strengths and weaknesses. They would know where to go, how to excel and chase your dreams. It's just YOU and YOU. There would be no room for expectations and social certifications. Of course, this journey will be complemented by your partners (parents, friends, spouse, children etc.) but its your roadmap.

The list can be very long. Just go somewhere and observe people closely. People are losing perspective like anything. It's not about teaching them but its about learning from them what not to do. I believe if more and more people get the perspective, it will spread. It has the potential to change our present and the future of coming generations.

शुक्ला मैडम

हमारी ज़िन्दगी के रंगमंच में बहुत से किरदार आते हैं और उनमे से कुछ हमारे दिल में अपनी जगह हमेशा के लिए बना लेते हैं, फिर चाहे रंगमंच में उनकी भूमिका मामूली से वक़्त की ही क्यों न हो. एक ऐसा ही किरदार थी शुक्ला मैडम जिनसे मेरी पहली मुलाकात 1995 में हुई. हुआ यूं कि पापा का ट्रांसफर हो गया था भिवाड़ी जहाँ शुक्ला मैडम अपने पति और बच्चो के साथ एक अरसे से वहाँ रह रही थी. भिवाड़ी देश की राजधानी दिल्ली से 80 किलोमीटर दूर बसा एक औद्योगिक नगर हैं. उसकी औद्योगिकता का अंदाजा उसकी आबो हवा में बसे धुएं से साफ़ लगाया जा सकता था.
ट्रांसफर के चलते पूरा परिवार जयपुर से अपना बोरिया बिस्तर समेटकर भिवाड़ी की ओर चल चल पड़ा था. पीछे रह गया था वो सरकारी खाली घर, हमारे प्यारे पडोसी जो गले लग लगकर हमे विदा कर रहे थे और मेरे कुछ ख़ास दोस्त जिनसे आज तक मैं दोबारा नहीं मिल पाया. खैर हम भिवाड़ी पहुंचे. वहाँ का सरकारी घर जैसे हमारी राह ही देख रहा हो. दिखने में वो बिलकुल वैसा ही था जैसा हम एक जयपुर में छोड़ आये थे. ऐसे सरकारी मकान अक्सर कालोनी में होते थे जहां उसके जैसे मकान और भी होते थे. फर्क सिर्फ इतना था कि बड़े अफसर का मकान बड़ा और मज़दूर वर्ग के मकान छोटे, फिर चाहे उनके परिवार की संख्या कितनी भी हो. मेरी ख्वाइश बस इतनी थी कि वह नगर हमे जल्दी ही अपना बना ले जैसे फैक्टरियों से निकलने वाली गंध और धुएं को उसने अपना बना रखा था.  ख्वाइश थी कि हम भी जल्दी ही धुएं की तरह आस्मां में चौड़े होकर कह पाते कि हम भी यहाँ से ही हैं. नयी जगह दिलचस्पी पैदा करती हैं, पर खुद से दिल भी आसानी से लगाने नहीं देती. पर कोशिश से ये मुमकिन हैं. रोज़ शाम मैं अलग-अलग बच्चो के झुण्ड के पास जाकर खड़ा हो जाता था. अफसरों और मज़दूरों के बच्चे अलग-अलग खेलते थे. खेल भी काफी अलग थे उनके. कुछ दिनों ये सिलसिला ऐसे ही चलता रहा और किसी ने मुझे शामिल करने में कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं दिखाई. उन दिनों पुराने दोस्त बहुत याद आते थे. मैंने अपने पक्के दोस्त अमित को पत्र लिखा और जयपुर के लिए पोस्ट कर दिया. उस पत्र में मेरे दिल के सारे जज़्बात शामिल थे. पता नहीं वो पत्र अमित को मिला भी कि नहीं, उसका जवाब अभी तक नहीं आया.
कुछ दिन बीते. पापा ने मेरा दाखिला कराया नगर के एक प्राइवेट स्कूल में. स्कूल का माध्यम हिंदी था. स्कूल के पहले ही दिन मेरी मुलाकात शुक्ला मैडम से हुई. वो मेरी क्लास टीचर थी. संस्कृत पढ़ाती थी. संस्कृत क्लास 6 में ही स्कूली पाठ्यक्रम में शामिल होती हैं. संस्कृत के बारे में मैंने भी सुना था कि एक भाषा हैं जिसमे बहुत सी पौराणिक कथाएं और ग्रन्थ लिखे गए हैं. कभी भी संस्कृत में किसी को बोलते नहीं सुना था. नया स्कूल और नए लोगो को देखकर मैं बहुत खुश था. ख़ुशी इस बात की भी थी कि मेरी उम्र के 45 बच्चे पूरे दिन मेरे साथ रहेंगे, तो दोस्त तो मेरे यूँही बन जायेंगे. पहले दिन शुक्ला मैडम मुस्कुराते हुए क्लास में घुसी और सारे बच्चे अपनी जगहों से खड़े होकर एक सुर में बोले "गुड़ मॉर्निंग मैडम". ये तो ठीक बिलकुल वैसा ही था जो इससे पहले मेरे अंग्रेजी स्कूल में होता था. क्या हिंदी माध्यम के स्कूल भी अंग्रेजी भाषा का प्रयोग करते हैं. पर क्यों?
मैं इस अंतर्द्वंद में ही था कि शुक्ला मैडम ने मेरी तरफ देखकर कहा "बैठ जाओ बच्चे." आगे बोलते हुए उन्होंने कहा कि "अब सब बच्चे अपना परिचय देंगे. अपना नाम, पापा का नाम और वो क्या करते हैं. ये बताना हैं" वो हमारा कम और हमारे पापा का परिचय ज्यादा लग रहा था. मेरे परिचय को सुनकर शुक्ला मैडम की आंखों में एकाएक चमक आ गयी. वैसे तो मैडम चश्मा लगाती थी. चश्मा भी ऐसा की सूरज की थोड़ी सी रौशनी से ही वो भूरा हो जाता था. ऐसे में उनकी आँखों को देख पाना नामुमकिन था. पर परिचय के दौरान उन्होंने चश्मा निकालकर सामने वाली मेज पर रख दिया था. जिससे उनकी आंखों की चमक को मह्सूस कर पाना आसान था. मैं उनके भाव को समझ नहीं पा रहा था. शायद उन्हे गुस्सा होना चाहिए था क्यूंकि परिचय के दौरान मैंने काफी अंग्रेजी का प्रयोग किया था. मुझे नहीं पता था कि इलेक्ट्रिसिटी को बिजली कहते हैं. पर अंग्रेजी से तो उनको कोई समस्या नहीं होनी चाहिए थी क्यूंकि अभी कुछ वक़्त पहले ही हम सबने एक सुर में बहुत सारी अंग्रेजी बोली थी. अंग्रेजी भाषा को वैसे भी हमारे देश में अव्वल दर्ज़े की इज़्ज़त प्राप्त हैं. तो क्या मैडम मेरी अंग्रेजी भाषा के बहुत ज्यादा प्रयोग से प्रभावित थी!
एकाएक मैडम ने मेरे सोच के बवंडर को शांत करते हुआ कहा कि "तुम मुझसे लंच टाइम में स्टाफ रूम में मिलना" ये सुनकर सभी बच्चे भी मेरी तरह कयास लगाने लगे कि आखिर हुआ क्या हैं. जैसे-तैसे मैंने 2 घंटे और निकाले, फिर लंच टाइम होते ही सीधे स्टाफ रूम में पहुंच गया. वहाँ शुक्ला मैडम नहीं थी. वहाँ बैठी और अध्यापिकाओं ने मुझे देखा और कहा" यहाँ क्या कर रहा हैं, चल बहार जा." ऐसी कठोर भाषा मैंने पहले नहीं सुनी थी. तभी शुक्ला मैडम आ गयी.
उन्होंने फिर पूछा कि "तुम्हारे पापा इलेक्ट्रिसिटी डिपार्टमेंट में काम करते हैं?"
मैंने डरते हुए कहा कि" मैडम, आई ऍम सॉरी, मतलब माफ़ कर दीजिये मुझे इलेक्ट्रिसिटी को हिंदी में क्या कहते हैं, नहीं पता. मैं आज ही पापा से पूछ लूंगा। मैडम आई ऍम सॉरी"
मेरे माथे के पसीने और कापते हुए शब्दों से मैडम मेरे डर को भांप गयी और बोली"अरे बच्चे नहीं, कोई बात नहीं. मैं तुमसे नाराज़ थोड़े ही हूँ. क्या तुम मेरा एक काम करोगे?"
मैं कुछ समझ नहीं पा रहा था क्यूंकि अंग्रेजी स्कूल में एक बार मैंने क्लास में हिंदी बोल दी थी. तब मैडम ने मुझे सजा के तौर पर मेज पर आधा घंटे खड़े रहने को कहा और स्कूल डायरी में नोट डाल दिया. मेरे क्लास के बच्चे इस बात पर मेरा बहुत दिनों तक मज़ाक बनाते रहे. दूसरी तरफ मैंने हिंदी माध्यम के स्कूल में संस्कृत भाषा के पीरियड में अंग्रेजी का भरपूर इस्तेमाल किया था और मुझे सजा देने की बजाय मैडम जी मुझसे मदद मांग रही थी.
मैंने हामी भर दी. मैडम ने मुझे एक हरे रंग की फाइल थमाते हुए कहा कि "ये अपने पापा को दे देना और पूछना की क्या इस सिलसिले में हम उनसे मिल सकते हैं." वो फाइल बहुत पुरानी मालूम होती थी. ये कह पाना मुश्किल था कि उसमे रखे पन्ने कभी सफ़ेद होते होंगे. हर दूसरा पन्ना एक अर्ज़ी थी जिनपर हस्ताक्षरों और आधिकारिक सीलो की भरमार थी. चाय के कप के सतही निशाँ भी बहुत जगह देखे जा सकते थे. साफ़ था कि उस फाइल का सफर लम्बा था और वो बहुत से सरकारी महकमों में अपना सफर तय करके आयी थी. ऐसी बहुत सी फाइले अर्सो तक सरकारी दफ्तर में रहते हुए आखिर में दम तोड़ देती हैं. शायद सिर्फ शुक्ला मैडम की सकारात्मक ऊर्जा और उम्मीद से ही उसमे अभी तक जान बाकी थी.
खैर मैंने फाइल पापा को दी. पापा अचंभित थे की मैं पहले ही दिन क्या उठा लाया स्कूल से. मैंने सब बातें उनको बताई और मैडम से मुलाकात करने पर जोर भी दिया. फाइल के कुछ पन्ने पलटते ही वो समझ गए की इस सिलसिले में वो कुछ नहीं कर सकते थे.
उन्होंने मुझसे कहा" देखो इसमे मैं कुछ नहीं कर सकता। जिस जगह तुम्हारी शुक्ला मैडम रहती हैं, वहाँ कभी एक छोटी सी इंडस्ट्री हुआ करती थी. वह इंडस्ट्री बंद हो गयी और उसने 4 साल से भी लम्बे वक़्त का बिजली बिल जमा नहीं कराया. ऐसे में बिजली विभाग ने उस जगह का कनेक्शन काट दिया हैं. वहाँ नया कनेक्शन तब तक नहीं लग सकता जब तक 4 साल का बिजली बिल न भर दिया जाए. तुम्हारी मैडम यह नहीं भर पाएंगी क्यूंकि राशि बहुत ज्यादा हैं. पर मैं हैरान हूँ कि 5 साल से वो ऐसे घर में रहती हैं जहा बिजली नहीं हैं."
यह सुनकर मेरे भी होश उड़ गए. ये साफ़ था कि पापा इसमे कुछ ख़ास नहीं कर सकते थे पर मैं शुक्ला मैडम की उम्मीद को इतनी जल्दी तोडना नहीं चाहता था. मेरे जोर देने पर पापा उनसे मिलने के लिए मान गए. अगले दिन मैं ख़ुशी-ख़ुशी उनके पास पंहुचा और पापा की हामी को उनसे जाहिर किया. उनको देखकर लगा कि किसी ने उनको घर में बिजली आने की खबर दी हो.
हम भिवाड़ी में 3 साल और रहे. पापा के ज़रिये शुक्ला मैडम बिजली विभाग के आला अधिकारियों से मिलती रही. फाइल में कुछ और पन्ने आ गए थे पर बिजली नहीं आयी थी. पापा का ट्रांसफर हो गया. फिर हम चल दिए बोरिया बिस्तर समेटकर. फिर पीछे रह गया वो सरकारी मकान, पड़ौसी जो 3 सालो में बहुत ख़ास हो गए थे और प्यारी शुक्ला मैडम.
तकरीबन 10 साल बाद मैं अपनी पढ़ाई पूरी करके स्कूल के एलुमनाई मीट में गया. मेरी नज़रें शुक्ला मैडम को ढूंढ रही थी. फिर एकाएक वो दिखाई दी. वही मुस्कराहट और रौशनी से भूरा होने वाला चश्मा. मैंने उनके पैर छुए और आशीर्वाद लिया. मुझे पहचान तो नहीं पायी पर देखकर खुश थी. मैंने उनसे एकाएक पूछ डाला कि "मैडम आपके यहाँ बिजली आ गयी क्या?"
उन्होंने मेरे सर पर हाथ रखा. उनके छलकते आंसू बता रहे थे कि चाहे बिजली न आयी हो पर उनकी उम्मीद और फाइल में जान अभी भी बाकी हैं. 

Plastic containers

Climate change, believe it or not, is happening like many things that change around the world, we know. Individuals change and if a similar change takes place on many individuals simultaneously, it is a phenomenon. Change either takes you (or the entire world) to a better world or destruction. Change is inevitable.

Few decades ago plastic containers (bottles) came into existence. They made our life simple. It has become easier for us to contain water and other drinks. But the world has seen their negative implications. The pictures of flooding coasts with plastic bottles and contaminating sea life are quite common these days.

It is a human tendency to continuously detect problems and seek the sustainable solutions. That is how we change and evolve. To deal with the problem of plastic containers badly influencing our surroundings, many developed countries, including Finland, have come up an idea. Quite a while ago, people used to consume drinks from these plastic containers and throw them anywhere. These countries assigned a price to an emptied plastic container. Result of which most of these containers go into a recycling chain. It is quite organized here in Finland where Rajesh and his wife have been living for the last 10 years.

Rajesh came to Finland in 1998. He got a job offer from Nokia, a mobile giant in those times. After a year, he got married to Ishita who came along with her partner. Soon she started working in Nokia too. Like most Indians, they also integrated very well in Finnish society despite very cold, windy and rainy Helsinki, Finland's capital. The clouds are so dense over the city to stop much of the sunlight. It is mostly gray here in Finland. In the beginning, the conditions bothered them but eventually they got into different layers of the city. They made good friends. The weekdays were equipped in work. They used to meet friends on weekends.

Rajesh had a great sense of humor. He wrote poems and recited to his Finnish friends. That brought them closer. Tasty Indian food served by Ishita was another strong reason of their bond. Ishita was a very good cook. She cooked Idli-Sambhar, a south-Indian not-so-spicy dish, which Finnish liked the most. Rajesh and Ishita used to celebrate Indian festivals with fellow Finnish. They imbibed cultural values and practices from their Finnish friends. In return, Finnish benefited a lot from their company. Most of their friends never visited India but they started planning to go there after being in touch with Rajesh and his wife.

Once, one of their friends asked them" do all Indian ladies cook so well? It's amazing."

Aditya, their son was born after few years of their marriage. He grew up with Indian values and Finnish education system. The education system of Finland is the world's best. Aditya celebrated Diwali, one of the biggest festivals of India with similar joy as he did Christmas with his friends. Times passed on. Aditya became 7 years old and his excitement to celebrate Christmas had gone exponentially up. He used to choose his Christmas tree well in advance. He wrote letters to Santa Claus. He knew when Santa Claus would come in the nearest shopping mall. He would then hand over his letter to him. He never questioned his existence. His parents let the conspiracy be. Rajesh would collect Aditya's letter from the man dressed like Santa Claus. With years passing by, Rajesh and Ishita could see their evolving son through his letters.

For instance, Aditya drew a painting when he was 3 years old. When he was 4, he suggested Santa Claus to come over on Christmas eve between 6 and 8 pm as he would sleep by 8.30 pm. Next year, he asked two gifts - one for him and the other one for his second cousin living in India. But 2011 was different. He didn't write anything to him. Probably he grew old enough to doubt the existence of Santa Claus. In November-December that year, Rajesh noticed two things. Aditya started spending much time at the window next to the main entrance. He would look through it and rush to his room all of sudden. He didn't allow his parents to enter his room. Rajesh and Ishita never inquired much about it. Sometimes the children live in their own worlds. They didn't dare to enter his world.

Christmas Eve arrived. Three of them dressed very well. Aditya was as usual standing by the same window. His eyes looked desperate. They were looking for someone.

Ishita whispered in Rajesh's ears "Is he waiting for Santa Claus? This year he has not written a letter to him. I thought he understood there is no such thing like Santa ?"

Rajesh shrugged. "I have no clue. Should I go out and wear a Santa Claus dress?"

While Rajesh and Ishita were in a dilemma, Aditya rushed to his room. He brought a big shopping bag from his room, opened the main door and run toward the street. It was chilling cold but very bright because of moonlight reflecting from the surface of snow. It looked identical to what is shown in children's Christmas rhymes. Aditya stood in front of a man. He was fat. He had a long white beard with few black hair showing some signs of his younghood. He must have been in his late fifties. He was completely covered by his winter wears. They looked dirty and must have stunk. Rajesh speculated as he stood at a distance. Both Rajesh and Ishita wondered what was Aditya doing in front of that man. They went closer to Aditya and that man to hear their conversation.

Aditya handed over the shopping bag to him " Merry Christmas, Fanta Claus!"

In Finland, most people understand English thanks to English TV. Despite this, the man's face clearly depicted "What the hell are you talking about?" He was more interested in the bag Aditya handed over to him. He opened the bag. It was full of plastic bottles. Smile emerged on his face. He put his hand on Aditya's head and said " God bless you." He left. We waved to him.

Later that evening Aditya explained to his parents how he had been noticing that man. The man looked into the garbage bins, like many Europeans who do so to get more money through recycling. Finding a bottle brought smile on his face and he looked disappointed in failing to find one. Aditya noticed those gestures. He collected plastic bottles and gift wrapped it for that man, his Fanta Claus -- a Santa Claus of his own world.

Really our children notice every little thing in their surroundings and buildup their own world.