"You didn't notice me, right ?" I finally dared to put my hand on her shoulders and uttered my long-term frustration.
"Excuse me." Sanjana responded clueless.
"No, you are not excused. It has been 4 years and you didn't notice me once." My dare was on a Level-II now.
"Hey, what are you talking about?" She continued to be clueless.
"Don't you get it what I am talking about?" I inquired last time.
"I beg your pardon, dude. I gotta go. My friends are waiting outside." She responded fluently in American accent.
Although I didn't get all the words, I could get the flavor that she was not interested in me like the last 4 years.
"Saana, can I please talk to you for a while? Its really important." I literally begged for the conversation.
"What? What did you say?" She frowned.
I guess she heard "Saana". For me and my friends she was always Saana, the name I gave her when I saw her the first time. It was on the fresher's night. She was on the stage and getting "Miss Freshers Award". I was, on the other side, sitting far from the stage with my drunk friends. Their shouts were perfectly in synchronous with the girls' appearances on the stage. I could hardly see their faces because of disco lights and smoke. Probably alcohol helped them to see through smoke. However, her face simply dissected the smoke and made a connection, though one-sided, with me. She looked extremely beautiful in her red gown. She was shining like a star. She chose outstanding English words while receiving her award.
"Hey, have you lost somewhere? Did you just call me Saana?" She repeated while being completely unaware of my flashback moments.
"Ya, I call you Saana. That's the way I call you all the time." I answered.
"I guess we are meeting the first time. Are you studying in the same college?" She just broke my heart. She proved me wrong. My friends were right. She never noticed me.
"Okay, you never noticed me. I am passing out today as well. That means we belong to the same batch." I sounded disappointed.
"I see, what is your name? Did you pursue BBA?" She saw her interest or she was just pretending to be nice.
"My name is Sunil." I replied without enthusiasm.
I wished I could say "Rahul, Naam to suna hi hoga". Rahul sounds much better than Sunil thanks to Shahrukh Khan movies. There were 7 Rahul in my class and all were very famous for different reasons. There was a huge contrast among Rahuls. One Rahul was the topper of our batch and the other was a drug dealer. I also wondered why she thought that I was studying BBA. Who the hell does BBA?
I continued "No I am an Automobile Engineer."
"Is this an engineering branch? Anyway, tell me, why did you stop me? What you wanted to talk?" She questioned.
I somehow overlooked her unawareness of my engineering branch. "You won't understand my feeling. I know you are deeply in love with someone. Currently it is Rohit, right?" I became unstoppable.
"What did you just say? Currently?" She wanted me to repeat.
"I mean your current boyfriend is Rohit, right? And you don't care about the fact that I have always loved you." I put up my point with much more sense this time.
She came closer to me and gave me an angry look. "Hold on mister!" She took a moment to recall my name but couldn't. "....whatever, I don't have any boyfriend. Rohit is just a friend." I don't know whether she intentionally overlooked those words "I loved you".
However, I sighed with a relief that she didn't have a boyfriend. I overlooked her anger.
"So why do you give him hugs every time you see him?" She triggered my curousity.
"So what if I hugged him. See, I can hug you as well." She hugged me. That was a moment I had been waiting for the last 4 years. But the thought "this was not special for her" vanished all my joy in a second.
"So that means you didn't have a boyfriend ever." I wanted to reassure myself.
"No not at all. All the boys you are talking about are my dear friends." She replied quickly this time.
"I am happy to hear that." I felt relieved. I bent down on my knees and proposed her. "I fell in love with you the day I saw you the first time. You looked pretty the day by day in the last years. People rumored about your relationships with the boys. I never believed them. But then you didn't notice me at all, I had to second their rumors. You are my dream girl. Would you like to be fallen with me in this beautiful world of love?" I spoke like an independence day speech but I stopped abruptly because I felt earthquake shakes.
No it was Sanjana. She shook me "Excuse me. Do I know you?"
Soon I realized that the entire interaction was a dream. I was day-dreaming. Damn, her touch made my legs shivered and my throat dried.
"Sorry. I mistook you for my another friend." I somehow made an excuse.
"Okay. No problem. Bye." She said and waved me with a smile.
I couldn't say what I felt in those years. There was hardly a moment that I didn't think of her. I planned my entire life with her. I couldn't get the courage. She remained unaware. Probably it was destined like this. I didn't deserve her.
"Excuse me." Sanjana responded clueless.
"No, you are not excused. It has been 4 years and you didn't notice me once." My dare was on a Level-II now.
"Hey, what are you talking about?" She continued to be clueless.
"Don't you get it what I am talking about?" I inquired last time.
"I beg your pardon, dude. I gotta go. My friends are waiting outside." She responded fluently in American accent.
Although I didn't get all the words, I could get the flavor that she was not interested in me like the last 4 years.
"Saana, can I please talk to you for a while? Its really important." I literally begged for the conversation.
"What? What did you say?" She frowned.
I guess she heard "Saana". For me and my friends she was always Saana, the name I gave her when I saw her the first time. It was on the fresher's night. She was on the stage and getting "Miss Freshers Award". I was, on the other side, sitting far from the stage with my drunk friends. Their shouts were perfectly in synchronous with the girls' appearances on the stage. I could hardly see their faces because of disco lights and smoke. Probably alcohol helped them to see through smoke. However, her face simply dissected the smoke and made a connection, though one-sided, with me. She looked extremely beautiful in her red gown. She was shining like a star. She chose outstanding English words while receiving her award.
"Hey, have you lost somewhere? Did you just call me Saana?" She repeated while being completely unaware of my flashback moments.
"Ya, I call you Saana. That's the way I call you all the time." I answered.
"I guess we are meeting the first time. Are you studying in the same college?" She just broke my heart. She proved me wrong. My friends were right. She never noticed me.
"Okay, you never noticed me. I am passing out today as well. That means we belong to the same batch." I sounded disappointed.
"I see, what is your name? Did you pursue BBA?" She saw her interest or she was just pretending to be nice.
"My name is Sunil." I replied without enthusiasm.
I wished I could say "Rahul, Naam to suna hi hoga". Rahul sounds much better than Sunil thanks to Shahrukh Khan movies. There were 7 Rahul in my class and all were very famous for different reasons. There was a huge contrast among Rahuls. One Rahul was the topper of our batch and the other was a drug dealer. I also wondered why she thought that I was studying BBA. Who the hell does BBA?
I continued "No I am an Automobile Engineer."
"Is this an engineering branch? Anyway, tell me, why did you stop me? What you wanted to talk?" She questioned.
I somehow overlooked her unawareness of my engineering branch. "You won't understand my feeling. I know you are deeply in love with someone. Currently it is Rohit, right?" I became unstoppable.
"What did you just say? Currently?" She wanted me to repeat.
"I mean your current boyfriend is Rohit, right? And you don't care about the fact that I have always loved you." I put up my point with much more sense this time.
She came closer to me and gave me an angry look. "Hold on mister!" She took a moment to recall my name but couldn't. "....whatever, I don't have any boyfriend. Rohit is just a friend." I don't know whether she intentionally overlooked those words "I loved you".
However, I sighed with a relief that she didn't have a boyfriend. I overlooked her anger.
"So why do you give him hugs every time you see him?" She triggered my curousity.
"So what if I hugged him. See, I can hug you as well." She hugged me. That was a moment I had been waiting for the last 4 years. But the thought "this was not special for her" vanished all my joy in a second.
"So that means you didn't have a boyfriend ever." I wanted to reassure myself.
"No not at all. All the boys you are talking about are my dear friends." She replied quickly this time.
"I am happy to hear that." I felt relieved. I bent down on my knees and proposed her. "I fell in love with you the day I saw you the first time. You looked pretty the day by day in the last years. People rumored about your relationships with the boys. I never believed them. But then you didn't notice me at all, I had to second their rumors. You are my dream girl. Would you like to be fallen with me in this beautiful world of love?" I spoke like an independence day speech but I stopped abruptly because I felt earthquake shakes.
No it was Sanjana. She shook me "Excuse me. Do I know you?"
Soon I realized that the entire interaction was a dream. I was day-dreaming. Damn, her touch made my legs shivered and my throat dried.
"Sorry. I mistook you for my another friend." I somehow made an excuse.
"Okay. No problem. Bye." She said and waved me with a smile.
I couldn't say what I felt in those years. There was hardly a moment that I didn't think of her. I planned my entire life with her. I couldn't get the courage. She remained unaware. Probably it was destined like this. I didn't deserve her.
