Saturday, December 20, 2014

Kissi se Kehna Mat

I was in a family get-together when I received a call from Accenture. Accenture is a Multinational Software Company, which means it has offices in various countries of the world.

The girl from the other side of the phone probably rolled her tongue to create an alien accent.
She said " Hi, This is Sujata calling from Accenture Corporate Office Mumbai. It is to inform you that you have been selected as a Senior Software Engineer. Rest of the details will be emailed to you shortly. Thanks. Have a nice day."

Though it was hard to understand her language in "pretended to be like an American accent", I managed to grab the abstract of it.
I got a job in Accenture. I couldn't resist my exhilaration that I informed my father.

I said with excitement " Papa, I got the job in Accenture. Just now, they called me."
Papa with equal intensity reverted " Oh that's good news. Isn't Accenture a bigger company? Will you get more package here?"
I joyfully answered his queries" Yes, its one of the biggest in its working domain and my package will also be 7.5 lakhs/annum. But don't disclose this news to anyone, Papa because I want to be sure of my offer letter, joining location and other important details. This may take few days. I am anyway going to Bangalore and return directly to Sunny's marriage after 5 days. We will then inform everyone. What do you say?"
He said with agreement" No, we will even inform after you join the company. All the best."

As I left, a lot of  bilateral consensus happened between people, which are as follows.

Consensus 1:- My father said to my mother" Ravi got a new job in Mumbai. The company has offices abroad as well. Please don't disclose it to anyone now."
For my mother, the job location matters more than the company and its offered salary. She has an impression that every software engineer goes abroad and settles down there, which is true to some extent. 

Consensus 2:- My mother shared her mixed feeling with my Mausi(her sister) " Ravi got senior position in Mumbai and after few months, he will also go abroad like everyone. Don't reveal it now to anyone."
For my Mausi, senior position only means more money. 

Consensus 3:- My Mausi discussed it with his son (my II cousin) " Ravi became senior and soon going to abroad."
My cousin made some calculations in his mind and clarified my Mausi's doubts " Accenture sends his people to Europe. For a Senior Software Engineer, they offer around 5000 Euros per month. That means 4 lakhs per month."
My Mausi almost fainted after hearing that.      

Consensus 4:-  My cousin continued to disclose to my I cousin " Did you get to know about Ravi? He is going to Europe and will be earning 4 lakhs per month. Fod diya bande ne (He progressed incredibly)
My I cousin replied " No I wasn't aware of this. But sounds great."
My II cousin " In that case, please don't say that I told you. "

My II cousin extended this to his father.

Consensus 5:- His father (my uncle) told his wife (my aunt) " Ravi is going abroad. He will settle down there after his marriage. MK (my father) has one daughter and one son. The daughter will go her home after marriage and the son will settle down abroad. Why to have kids then if they don't live with you? Anyway, they have not informed us so you also don't share it with anyone."

Actually, the marriage of neither my sister nor mine were fixed at that point of time. 

Cycling Chain:- The message was spread in the entire family, friends, neighbors and their friends in just 5 days.

I attended my cousin's marriage after my return from Bangalore. I was unaware of what happened when I was not around.

I was looking for my friend then suddenly Mr. Gupta (our neighbor) patted my shoulder very hardly " Oh congratulations Ravi ! Naam roshan kar diya bhai ( You made everyone proud)"
Soon Mr. Saini (my father's colleague) also joined us.
"Did you hear that Saini ji? Ravi is going abroad. You know, the money we earn in a year, he will earn in a month there." Mr Gupta continued with laughter.

Was it funny that Mr. Gupta and Mr. Saini couldn't resist their laughter? Oh, my poor sense of humor that I could not sense the joke. But I didn't understand where his story came from till I realized that it was not only his contribution, but the entire family and friends to create a marvelous fictional story about my job.

I pissed off in the beginning but then couldn't resist laughing after tracing the whole chain of consensus back. It was fun. Indeed, our social networking is better than Facebook :)


























Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Desires of a "Small Town Boy"

I was born and brought up in a very small city of Rajasthan, India. I had a strict mother, a busy father and 4 years elder sister. My mother never allowed us to play more than 1 hour and watch TV except on Sundays. My father, on the other hand, never cared that much. The drawing room of the government allotted house had fulfilled the purpose of our sleeping-cum-studying room. But in case of visitors staying overnight, it quite often sacrificed as a guest room. The room showed the ever adjusting nature of an Indian middle class.

My mother used to watch daily soaps as much as she could do. The sudden ups and downs of the magnitude of the voice, referring to the crucial moments of the TV serials, made us to draw our own stories. If the dinner coincided with those TV programs, we could cross-verify our innovative stories with the actual ones. It's hard to imagine now that TV was hardly switched off the whole day.

The years had passed in a similar way. Over the years, my mother limited her responsibilities up to asking the same question after every exam; "How was the exam?" My father was only aware of which class I was studying. They, undoubtedly, became active at the results. My sister was always appreciated by them, but I was quite a disappointment for them.
I loved to play cricket but never allowed to play after class IX. They said " There exists a lot of competition and playing in Indian Cricket is an impossible task so why to waste time playing it. Just concentrate on your studies." I never understood why playing cricket was all about getting selected in the Indian Cricket Team.

Anyway life moved on, I reached the class X. The year when all your family members, friends of your parents and neighbours become super-active as if this is as important as selecting the Prime Ministerial candidate for the country. All vague ideas of studying more than 15 hours, A BIG NO to play, movies and social gatherings. They offered the logic of focusing those crucial years (X-XI-XII class) to have a great life ahead full of luxuries. I wondered why, then, not a single person around me had all the luxuries even after they would have sacrificed their crucial years.

I was in a good school but supplementing your school education with famous private tutors in the city was a trend you could not ignore. Science, Maths and English were more privileged subjects for getting extra classes. Life was limited to school, extra classes, tuitions and self-studies in the drawing room, next to my mother's theater.

One fine day after my X class exams, I spent the whole day playing cricket. My busy-turned-into-super-active father was waiting at the door.
He asked in an angry tone "Desire fulfilled ?" He continued " Guptaji's son has already gone to Kota. He is doing IIT there. "
My mother interrupted " What is IIT ? Never heard this term before !" I didn't know about it either." My father ignored her question" Arey, our prince doesn't even know about it and others have started doing it. I have decided that you will start your tuitions from tomorrow on. No more playing."

The best thing about government houses that your neighbours keep on changing. I was leaving my home at 5:00 AM when I first saw her playing badminton with her brother. Our eyes met but I had to leave. So the whole day, I ignored unimplementable mathematical equations, never seeable atomic level chemical equations and  unachievable speed of light, and thought of coming back to home and see her again.  Back home, she was already there with her mother.  I was anxious. My mother introduced me with them.
She said " This is Mrs. Sharma, our new neighbour, and her daughter Smriti. Smriti didi will be didi's college." Oh crap !! I was collapsed to the core.  Nothing was worse than calling your first crush "Didi (Sister)" 

I studied in a boy's (UniSex) school. The private tutors made two separate batches for boys & girls. The timings of the batches were also separated by 12 hours. Though it was very unlikely in a small town that a girl gets into the Science-Maths stream. Most families of the girls were obsessed for Arts. They could limit their girls to go out to the maximum. Arts students had the privilege not to attend regular classes. Tuitions were not needed either or unavailable too.
In this era, after a long time, I saw a beautiful girl. She was like an alien flower in the drought. I was not sure of whether my mother did it intentionally or she didn't care of my teenage fantasies.

I was supposed to drop my 4 years elder sister to evening classes and get her back safely. I couldn' t understand why I got that task from my parents. Was I considered to be strong enough to fight rapists, eve-teasers or bad boys or was my sister frail to defend her? I was always talked about my future education despite my love for cricket. My sister, on other hand, was talked about her marriage, ignoring her interest for higher education.

I wanted to get along with my first crush. I wanted to drop out after school. I wanted to play cricket all my life. I wanted my sister to live freely without restrictions. I never dared to question my parents and the society by whom I was driven. I was never answered.
























Sunday, November 16, 2014

एक पैगाम

आदरणीय ताऊजी

वैसे तो मैं यहाँ अपनों से कोसो दूर हूँ पर जब भी किसी से बात करने का मन करता हैं या अपने मन की बात साझा करनी होती हैं,  फोन पर बात करने से दूर होने के दर्द को थोड़ा सुकून तो मिल ही जाता हैं।

मैं यहाँ बहुत खुश हूँ और मैंने अपनी यहाँ एक छोटी सी दुनिया बसा ली हैं।  फिर भी कभी-२ मन तनहा तो हो ही जाता हैं।  कल एकाएक आपसे बात करने का बहुत मन हुआ और हमेशा की तरह आपसे जवाब पाने की असक्षमता मेरे आँखों में आये आंसुओ को रोक पाने में भी विफल रही.

कुछ पलो के लिए सब कुछ थम सा गया था मानो। फिर दिल को समझाया, और आपसे जुडी हर यादो को शब्दों में पिरोना शुरू किया। जब यादे शब्दों का रूप ले रही थी, ऐसा लग रहा था मानो आप बगल में बैठकर मेरी बातें पढ़ रहे हो और इस बार जवाब जरूर दोगे।

  • मुझे याद हैं आप अपने बच्चों के इंतज़ार में घर की छत पर अक्सर बेचैन होकर चक्कर लगाया करते थे. संजू-पिंटू भैया ने आपको बहुत इंतज़ार कराया हैं। 
  • मुझे याद हैं कैसे आप डोली-नीतू दीदी के परीक्षा परिणाम पर 1st , 2nd  और 3rd डिवीज़न आने पर अखबार पर ही राष्ट्रपति, उप-राष्ट्रपति और प्रधाममंत्री लिख दिया करते थे।  
  • याद हैं मुझे जिस दिन घर पर आलू के कोफ्ते बनते थे, जब आप आमरस बनाते थे। जब हम सब घंटो बातो में बैठा करते थे और चाय के अनगिनत दौर चलते थे। 
  • वो ताश की बाजिया, बुरे से बुरे पत्तों पर भी आप अपने दोनों हाथ ऊपर उठाकर खेल शुरू होने से पहले ही जीतने का एहसास करा देते थे। 
  • शायद ही कोई ऐसी फिल्म होगी जो आपने देखी नहीं हो, हर रविवार सुबह रंगोली देखते वक़्त हमे इसका प्रमाण मिल जाता था. 
  • आपका घर में दफ्तर और अलमारी में रखे कागज़ और फाइलें। आज तो वह कमरा पिंटू भाई का हैं। 
  • कैसे आप वो फटाफट से तूफ़ान की तरह फ्रेश हो जाया करते थे। 
  • लादिया की गलियो में आपकी यज़्दी मोटरसाइकिल की ढक-२ करती आवाज़ दूर से ही आपके आने का एहसास करा देती थी। 
आप को शायद इस बात का एहसास नहीं हैं कि मुझे बहुत कुछ कहना था आपसे। आपके जाने के बाद, मैंने कितनी ही बार आपको सपनो में देखने की कोशिश की।  आप बहुतो के सपनो में आये पर मेरे नहीं। मैंने कई बार आपको हिल स्टेशन पर ढूंढने की भी कोशिश की और यकीन मानो आज भी करता हूँ।  दिल को एक विश्वास सा हैं की आप ऐसे ही किसी मोड़ पर चलते हुए मिल जाओगे।  

आज जब भी विजय नगर वाले घर पर जाता हूँ , आपकी यादें वहाँ बसी हुई लगती हैं। जब चिराग पुण्य ने मुझसे पूछा बाबा के बारे में बताओ, वो कैसे थे तो मैं यह सब बातें उनको बताने लगा।  वो खुश होकर सुनते रहे।  कान्हा, भविन, चिराग पुण्य मिलकर चारो बहुत धमाल मचाते हैं। शिवेन पापा को बहुत प्यार से दादू बोलता हैं। किट्टू, ख़ुशी और राधेय भी इसको पढ़कर आपके बारे में और जानेंगे।  

आपका बनाया वो घर , निभाए हुए वो रिश्ते, आपके संस्कार, वो मोटरसाइकिल, जो आज आवाज़ तो नहीं करती, पर घर पर हमारे साथ हैं|  हर घर में आपकी तस्वीर लगी हैं जिसका हम हर सुख-दुःख में सजदा करते हैं। हमने आपकी हर याद को संझो कर रखा हुआ हैं। 

आप सोच रहे होंगे कि आज मैं इतना भावुक कैसे हो गया, न तो आज गोवेर्धन पूजा हैं और न आज २० अप्रैल हैं. पर आज मैं आपको बताना चाहता हूँ कि आपकी यादें इन २ दिनों में सिमट कर नहीं रह गयी हैं।  

मैं आपसे कहना चाहता हूँ कि हम सब आपको बहुत याद करते हैं और आपकी कमी कोई पूरी नहीं कर सकता। आपकी यादें साझा करने से दिल हल्का महसूस कर रहा हैं। आपसे जुडी हुई हर अच्छी बुरी यादें हमारी ज़िन्दगी का हिस्सा हैं।  उनको याद करके भावुक होने से दर्द बढ़ता नहीं, बल्कि कम होता हैं। 
आप जहा हो, खुश रहो। 
आपका रबड़ी 
     

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Love @ First Sight: A short, challenging yet unsuccessful love story

Background:- To me, Indian marriages are more than a ceremony of tying the knot. It's a joint celebration of two families, their extended families, friends, neighbors and their friends. Above all, it provides a platform to all young eyes to mingle. But it's a great challenge.
On one fine wedding of these kinds, I saw her for the very first time and fell in love.
Here is the STORY

"Mom, I can't wear this three-piece suit once again. I have already worn this one in almost all wedding in the last 4 years. Now everyone knows what I am going to wear in the parties. " I showed my resentment. 
My mother declined my request " Don't exaggerate. You wore it only 3-4 times. It is very new. " 
"Mom,  but it doesn't fit me anymore. Can't you see, I am fatter now. " It was my last attempt. 
"You look dashing. Ask Buaji !! Anyways we are leaving for the wedding in Buaji's jeep. See you there." My mom ignored my request smartly. 
I looked at Buaji. " Arey beta, are you bridegroom ? Wear anything !! It hardly matters. We go there, eat food and come back at the earliest." Both ladies left for the wedding, passing the sarcastically smiles at me.

Those lines frustrated me to the core till I saw her.  

I stepped into the wedding venue. My eyes traversed the whole scene and then stuck on her.
"Who is she ? Am I in the wrong wedding ? Does she belong to our city ? Does she join the wedding from bride's side or the bridegroom's ? Will she ever notice me ? Will I even dare to ask her name ? Will she ever answer ?  But can I find the girl like her ever ?  Is it love at first sight ?  No its just an attraction. I should stop watching Shahrukh Khan's movie." I was flooded with countless thoughts but I concluded admirably at the end.
She was dressed elegantly in a red saree. Her twinkling jewellery distracted my eyes from her bangles to her ear-rings to the necklace. My heart started beating faster at every of her gestures. For me, there was no-one except her but for her, it seems like I didn't exist at all.  But why would she notice a fat and not so well dressed small town boy ?
In that aimless party where men were busy talking politics and women were spreading gossips, I had a clear vision. I knew that it was "Now or Never" situation for me.  I decided to pursue my services at the food counters. I secured the advantage of being from the bride's side.
But my Buaji noticed me and sent me to drop her mother-in-law home. I don't understand why these old people come to functions if they can't stay till the couple exchange the garlands, the very first ceremony of the wedding. I joined back and made sure that she didn't visit the stalls during my absence. A sigh of relief.
She started dancing on the floor with her relatives. Who is that boy ? Oh, my story can't be a Love Triangle !! I changed my focus from her to the distance she shared with the boy.

A lot was going on in my mind but my Fufaji introduced me with his friend. He then asked me whether there was a "Pan stall " in the party ? Who, in the entire world, could make him understand that it was not my daughter's wedding and why I was giving my services. There was no Pan-shop. I cursed daughter's father not to arrange Pan-stall. He instructed me to bring two Pans. This could be crucial. She could be here anytime but denying or delaying my Fufaji (a highest status in the relationship, especially when your father has one sister among four brothers) was an invitation to a big mess. I used my wild card. I called my younger brother and bribed him to bring Pans. It worked :)
My family was done with food. They were ready to leave. But I was wondering why she didn't eat ? Don't beautiful girls eat ? She was heading to the exit gate. Oh is she leaving ? I ran behind her. She was with her relatives. How could I go there and ask few questions which I practiced since I saw her. I saw Chirag, bride's cousin. He was also among her relatives. He was my class-mate, the most stupid fellow in the class. But as it is said "if need be, call an ass a Father." I approached him and asked if I could help.
I was just trying to get into her sphere. I was very close but then someone shouted my name. "Ravi, come here !!" "I will go with you on Luna. I can't sit in Jeep after having food. I am not feeling good. Let's go."
So, before 5 minutes, I was planning to drop her home, but now she could see me driving with the fattest partner. I couldn't face her struggling with the oldest Luna in the town.
Means, if you have great fool-proof and backup plans, your family not only ruins it but also embarrasses you, in addition.

At the end, I didn't eat any food, paid my services more than catering service vendor, followed all useless instructions of the family. I sacrificed a lot but no-one cared. I couldn't get even the name of the girl with whom I fell in love the moment I glimpsed her.
Yes, it was my first love, my unsuccessful teen-aged attempt !! 


  

  

Sunday, October 19, 2014

My Heart is Beating ..............

I am sitting in my balcony. The nature is in full mood today. It has unlocked the blue sky, spread the sunshine and changed the colors of the leaves. This is the perfect day of Autumn. I close my eyes to feel the penetrating sun rays into my body. The breeze gently blows in off the skin. But my soul goes back to India and checks out what's happening there. My soul inhales the aroma of "Diwali". Oh !! My heart starts beating faster. My mind responds. It begins collecting all the observations and thoughts. I have to jot down all I want to convey to my family, friends, neighbours and my fellow countrymen.
  • Yes I am the one who lives and works thousands of miles far from the family and friends. Yes I miss all of you. 
  • Yes I am the one who has been questioned several times where would I settle down ? Here or in India ? Honestly, I am also trying to figure this out.
  • Yes I am the one who, you think is only having a great time here, ignoring all my struggles and pains. 
  • Yes I am the one who has been misunderstood many times that I am here only to earn a lot of money.
  • Yes I am the one who gets annoyed when my salary and expenditures are discussed in detail. 
  • Yes I am the one who has been misunderstood to have left the family back in India and can't sacrifice the money and pleasure over family. 
  • Yes I am the one who could earlier, being in India, hardly spend time with family but now can Skype with them the whole day from here.  
  • Yes I am the one who was the laziest in the family but now doing everything by myself. I am proud of it :)
  • Yes I am the one who always shares traveling status such as "India Calling :)" and "Flying back ........ :(" etc.
  • Yes I am the one who, even while boarding the Air India plane for India, feels like reaching India.
  • Yes I am the one who wants to share every new experience via social networking sites. I am not showing off. I am here all alone, I just want to share it with my friends and family. Keep it  Simple !!
  • Yes I am the one who has to skip a lot of family functions and festivals. Believe me,  its equally distressing for me too.
  • Yes I am the one who celebrates every festival and tries to follow every customs here to the extent, much better than India. Every Indian seems to me like a big family here.
  • Yes I am the one who used to speak English in India to make a mark but here finds people who could speak my mother tongue. 
  • Yes I am the one who doesn't miss any Bollywood movie, not even Ramgopal Verma's :-O
  • Yes I am the one who can't vote but doesn't sleep or wakes up early to catch up the Election Results.    
  • Yes I am the one who is noticing the differences between the countries and would like to see the good changes there. 
  • Yes I am the one who is self proclaimed Indian Ambassador here who is portraying India's positive image and sharing Indian culture.
My heart beats for my family, friends and my country India. My soul is hanging around there. Don't judge me !! 









Saturday, October 11, 2014

Brands Vs Brands

BACKGROUND:- I just moved in a new house with my wife. While struggling with the old papers, I encountered with some of my early writings. I started writing at the age of 23. Before this, it was very hard for me to even frame a single sentence in English. I got the motivation to write after reading some wonderful set of books. Thanks to my friend, Pandey, who ignited this very habit. 
This article is from those excerpts.


Last evening, I happened to talk to my cousin, the youngest one in our generation. He studies in class X and gets immensely influenced by this fast changing world. A member of Gen-X which is indulged in Fashion, Bollywood, Cricket, Media, in short the glamorous world. 
I asked about his favorite subjects. But soon, he started talking about his outfits. He said he would never wear Jeans other than Levi's, Lee and Pepe, Shoes other than Nike and Puma, Tshirts and Watches from Being Human. He also spoke some of the international brands, I couldn't remind of. He insisted " Bhaiya, you should try these brands, they are totally cool. " His advice embarrassed me because I hardly had any of the brands in my wardrobe. 
I couldn't understand him. "This could probably be because of the generation gap. But technically he is from my generation. But once, someone told me that the generation gets changed every after 5-8 years. " I made up my mind. 
"But why do these kids get exceedingly indulged in that stuff ? Was I already old fashioned ? Or its the difference of our varied upbringings ? I am a small town boy and he is from Metro city. My uncle is financially much better than us so he could afford the expensive brands." My mind was flooded of thoughts. 
These kids run after expensive brands because they copy bollywood celebrities and cricketers. They get into a foolish lifestyle, where people evaluate you, according to the brands you buy.
If they wear intensely odored perfume or deodorant, people ask about the brand. If you wear big sized goggles, which normally hide almost all your face, people ask about the brand. One should definitely have an expensive smart phone to show off, because you can hide it but only till it rings. 
My friend Vivek used to burn his lungs only with Marlboro cigarettes because Salman Khan used the same.

Here my point is not that one shouldn't use these brands. My idea is to make yourself "A BRAND" instead of running after them.
Let me put up few examples here. 

1) When I visited an IAS officer Mr. K B Gupta in his office, I couldn't estimate his success from the attire he wore that day. The environment of the cabin notified the whole story how much hard work he had put in to be in such a remarkable position. 

2) Mr. Narayan Murthy only travels in an economy class, Mr. Warren Buffet (Top 5 Richest Persons in the World) drives his ordinary car and lives in a small house. 

3) If Mr. Amitabh Bachchan wears a jacket. No one thinks of getting to know the brand or the price but it always seems that he wears the branded outfits that cost lots of bucks. 
On the other hand, when my friend Swadheen purchased Nike' shoes of worth 3000/-, we all denied to accept him till he showed us the paid slip.

They people are the examples of my view of branded personalities. They have not wasted their energy to run after these brands. They have made themselves a BRAND and let these brands run after them. 
For branded materialistic things, one has to invest only money, no matter who earns it. Parents or Siblings !! This lasts for quite a short period of time, then you need to hunt for another stuff. 
To become a branded personality, one has to invest in terms of hard work, dedication, will power, sincerity, honesty and prayers of the beloved ones. It lasts forever. 















 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

When a Freedom Struggler meets a Freedom Fighter

Background :- I was walking down the scenic route from the place, where the bus dropped me, to right up to the high mountains. I didn't know where I was heading to. I was middle of nowhere. I was dying of hunger and thirst.  It seemed that some powerful energy was dragging me to a definite destination. The mountains already hid themselves with snow blanket. They seemed denying to help. The reflection of the solar rays at the snow cover made my eyes twitching. I completely lost my energy to move further but a spiritual sound caught my attention and poured the energy in my body to reach the cave, which originated the vibrations of the sound 'OM'. As I reached the cave, the sound got stopped and a very old person held my hand to pull me into the cave.

"Namaskaar, Please drink some water. Wait ! I bring something you could eat." 
The looked-like Monk offered his help. I swallowed the food. The charm and the help of the Monk rejuvenated me. 
Once I settled down, he asked me ' Dear, I am Subhash. Who are you ? What are you searching for ?'
'Subhashji, I am Utkarsh Mishra. I am from Faridabad. I was an IAS officer. I have left my job, family and friends to find peace. I have heard that Himalaya is the best place to get peace, isn't it ?' briefed him.

He laughed ' Indeed ! Why did you leave your job ? IAS is the prestigious job position to serve the nation.'
I frustratedly responded 'What do you know about IAS ? Its the worst job position created in Government of India. It sucks ! '

He spoke softly ' Calm down, my friend. Could you really share what really happened to you. I try to help you.'
   I agreed to share. "I was a meritorious student throughout my academics. I graduated from IIT Mumbai then went to IIM Ahmedabad to pursue Masters in Management. After working for few years in Europe, US and Middle East, I thought to return back to India and take Civil Service Examinations. As I was married, it was a hard decision to leave the job. The society made it even harder because the majority of the people around us estimate your success in terms of money one earns. The nature of the work is not at all considered. For example, a scientist who does great things for the nation but earns 40,000 Rs every month is considered to be worse than a Real Estate Agent who sells property and earns millions of bucks. I meant I couldn't choose a career just because of the money it brings for me but the nature of the work that personally satisfies me. I convinced my parents and started preparing for the exams. I couldn't clear UPSC in my first attempt but got 45 Rank next year." 
He clapped with joy " Oh ! That's simply superb. You studied hard. Please carry on."

    I continued "I joined the IAS cadre and was appointed as the District Magistrate and Collector in UP. I got numerous wishes from the family, friends, media houses, politicians, unknown ones, almost every strata of people I knew. No one missed to wish me. I was flying. 
But unfortunately, during my service as an IAS officer, the contractors/builders/businessmen offered me hefty amounts of bribes. The politicians forced me. They ordered me to either Accept it, Pass the files/tenders/applications or Get the transfer. I always chose the transfer, this lead me to have 19 transfers in my 3 years of service. I couldn't recall if I had spent some quality time with my family in these 3 years. People always approached me with a reason. A lot just called me to get their train tickets confirmed under VIP quota. I meant I studied 18 hours a day to get the train tickets confirmed ?" 
  "Before returning back to India, I used to travel across the world, earn lot of money, meet outstanding people of the world, read fabulous books. Now I have started drinking alcohol. I am struggling with 8 pending cases just because I raised my voice against the misuse of the government money by the Vice President of the National Political Party. My family got irritated by my behaviour. The people, who wished me, can't be found anywhere now. I have lost control of my life. So I decided to come here and seek the answer. I can't handle it anymore."

     I felt sleepy. My subconscious mind took over and I lost in my thoughts.

Subhashji was listening to me very patiently. I didn't know why I shared my story with him. Somewhere in my heart, I knew that he could direct me on the right path. He could heal my problems. I wanted to ask who is he ? How old is he ? For how long, he has been here all alone ? 

    He shook my body and said ' Utkarsh !! Utkarsh !! I could imagine how hard it was for you to tolerate within the kind of the system we have today. You know, our freedom fighters sacrificed their lives to let their country free. I am very disappointed to see the condition of the people like you who would like to serve the nation but still have to struggle for true freedom. A Freedom to Work. But there is a solution to this problem. First of all, stop thinking about how the society perceives your decisions, stands or deeds. Just ignore their perceptions. As you truly said, you should opt the job that personally satisfies you. Its very hard to correct the whole system during your tenure of work. It requires persistent efforts to bring a significant change. It has lots of hurdles and challenges, one has to stand firm. There is another simpler way of serving the nation. Just do your job and opt any of the social cause like Education, Health etc and put all your efforts for the cause. This will bring the change in lives of lots of people, you could see the change and it will satisfy your soul. It will energise you to step further. You could motivate people and create more leaders. In the fight of evil and good, in earlier times, good killed the evils but now the good needs to be increased in numbers to dominate over evils. This may change the evils and our society gets better. "

   I collected my excitement after hearing the idea "Thanks for sharing your wonderful ideas to pursue my dreams. I would surely get back to work and frame such questions of the society and put my efforts to find their answers. May I ask you who are you ? Why are you here all alone ? Do you have a family ?"
   He smiled " Its not important, dear. You are an amazing person. It was nice meeting you. I hope you demystify your potential and find the peace inside, not here." 
I insisted a lot to tell at least something about him. I wanted to know about the person who heard me patiently, understood me, helped me in getting back to work and family. It was his energy which motivated me to think positively. It was his charm that I got convinced soon and agreed to return back.
    He then wrote something on the paper and asked me not to read it before I reach home. I promised him. I met my family. They were happy to see me back. I then recalled about the paper, Subhash ji had given to me before I left. 

It was written ' Subhash Chandra Bose. Jai Hind !! '